This Is The Last Time
by Urban Rose
Summary: Story based on the song The Last time by Taylor Swift. Before the wedding Bella is missing Jake and is trying to get info from Seth, however she finds something out that suddenly makes everything start to fall apart...Bella and Jacob have to do some deep soul searching to survive this alive as Monroe once said: "Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together".
1. Chapter 1

**Author:** Urban Rose

**Pairing**: _Jacob/Bella_

**Rating**: _M for language._

**In Progress**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the**** property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**The last time;**

Found myself at your door,  
Just like all those times before,  
I'm not sure how I got there,  
All roads they lead me here.

I imagine you are home,  
In your room, all alone,  
And you open your eyes into mine,  
And everything feels better,

Right before your eyes,  
I'm breaking and fast,  
No reasons why,  
Just you and me.

This is the last time I'm asking you this,  
Put my name on the top of your list,  
This is the last time I'm asking you why,  
You break my heart in the blink of an eye.

You find yourself at my door,  
Just like all those times before,  
You wear your best apology,  
But I was there to watch you leave,

And all the times I let you in,  
Just for you to go again,  
Disappear when you come back,  
Everything is better.  
When right before your eyes,  
I'm aching, run fast,  
Nowhere to hide,  
Just you and me...

This is the last time I'm asking you this,  
Put my name on the top of your list,  
This is the last time I'm asking you why,  
You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye...

This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong,_  
_This is the last time I say it's been you all along,  
This is the last time I let you in my door,  
This is the last time, I won't hurt you any more.

Oh, oh, oh,

This is the last time I'm asking you this,  
Put my name on the top of your list,  
This is the last time I'm asking you why,  
You break my heart in the blink of an eye.

This is the last time I'm asking you this, (this is the last time I'm asking you this)  
Put my name on the top of your list, (name on the top of your list)  
This is the last time I'm asking you why, (this is the last time I'm asking you why)  
You break my heart in the blink of an eye. (You break my heart...)

This is the last time I'm asking you this...

Time I'm asking you this

THE LAST TIME BY T. SWIFT


	2. Chapter 2

******Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the**** property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intende**

**Part One**

**Unexpected news**

I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel, impatiently internally warring with myself. The good, old heart vs. head debate. Neither of mine could ever agree on anything. This time was no different. I couldn't decide whether to go inside….

The phone rang against my ear, clearly my heart had won, and my brain had cooperated as I subconsciously rang the only link I had to my missing best friend.

"Yello", came the sunny greeting.

"Hey Seth, It's…"

"Hi Bella"

"Guess I am getting a bit…

"Predictable Bella?" A deep laugh came down the phone.

"Sorry Seth I don't mean to be… so annoying. I just miss him so much."

"I know Bella. So does he…"

"Wait!… What! He knows? I thought you hadn't heard from him?"

"Bella, he can hear us, he tries to ignore us, but he can't block us out completely. He isn't pleased Bella. He doesn't like you checking up on him" He whispered down the phone line. Scared how she would take the news.

Bella felt like her insides were being torn apart. He knew she was worried, he knew she missed him, she knew she hadn't forgotten him and got off into the sunset merrily without a second thought for him, and yet he still refused to come home. The pain she felt for him, for her best friend that had run off without even a goodbye didn't care she was literally falling apart without him.

"Well what does he expect Seth, he just ups and leaves and doesn't even tell anyone where he is going, doesn't even say goodbye to me, you, his pack, even his dad. What the hell? Does he think we are all just going to forget about him? Does he think I'm just going to forget about him? I never took Jake to be so…"

"Bella, what do you mean we don't know why he left?"

"Billy said he just up and left, he didn't know why. He didn't tell anyone. Not even me. not that he let me visit or replied to any of my phone calls or messages and now he can't because unfortunately I can't go wolf to ask him what the freaking hell bit him on the arse!" She ranted down the phone. Her knuckles clenched so tightly into a fist, her skin had gone translucent with the strain.

"Bella he left when he received your wedding invitation. I thought you knew. I mean you can't blame the guy that was a bit unfair. I was a bit surprised you would do that, well we all was. It is one of the reasons..." The younger boy's voice wavered and broke off. They both knew how the pack felt about her he didn't need to add salt to the wound.

"Everyone hates me" She finished for him.

"Well I wouldn't say…"

"Seth can't the crap I'm a big girl. I never sent an invite, I wouldn't do that to him and neither did Alice. It was one of my only requests. I made sure she didn't and she wouldn't go against me not on this."

"Bella, he received an invite to your wedding, Billy was there when he opened it. Next thing he knew Jake flew out of the door, and well now he god knows where not responding to… Bella?" Seth looked down at the phone as the dial tone beeped in his ear. Girls, he would never understand them. Shaking his head, as a bad feeling begun to curl its way around his guts, he placed the phone back in its cradle. He wondered whether he should go and speak to Sam or maybe Billy. Was it possible that Bella really hadn't known about the invitation? But if she hadn't sent it who had? Surely Edward wouldn't have done something so underhanded and hurtful, would he? The front door slammed, and broke his train of thought, as Leah marched into the room and flung herself on the sofa besides him.

"You alright Lee? Listen I need to go see somebody about something, I'll be back before dinner, so save me some kay?"

She looked at me, her face scrunched up and her eyes mere slits, as she studied my face.

"Who? About what Seth? Don't give me any BS I can tell when you lie, so don't bother!"

"I gotta go I don't have time for this", the feeling in his stomach was now, was fiercely strangling his insides. He knew something was going to happen; he had that feeling ever since Bella had hung up on him. Bella was too polite and friendly for her own good, there was no way she would have hung up by mistake, and she would have rang back. He also knew for her to have done it on purpose that she was beyond pissed, and it was him who had pulled the pin out of the ticking time bomb that was Bella Swan. He had no idea who the explosion was going to be aimed at, but he knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

Rushing for the door, he flew outside, hearing Leah chase after him. He knew he couldn't phase because then everyone would know. He had to deal with this himself. Leah yelled at him, as he barrelled down the dirt road. Leah was behind, she made a grab for his arm, but as her fingers ghosted against his skin, he leapt into the air and phased.

**"**Seth?"

"What the hell?"

**"Did **you piss the bed again Sethy?

The pack's shocked voices broke through his mind, as he tried to block them, "It's my life, it's now or never, I ain't gonna live forever" Seth sung, off key and loudly trying to keep everyone out.

"Seth, what's going on?" Leah's voice echoed.

"Leah what's going on?"

Leah replayed the scene in the house, then her chasing me. His confusion and worry were heavy in her thoughts, and memories in her flashbacks.

"Seth, what's going on? Come on bro, tell us what's wrong? Is it ya mum?" Sam tried to reach through to him. But Seth carried on singing, "tomorrow's getting harder make no mistakes".

"Seth, don't make me order you", Sam threatened. Seth dug his paws deeper into the bracken beneath them, pushing himself further.

"Can't! Got to fix it!"

"Leah phase back, Paul, Embry you too. Patrol on foot till I say."

"NO!" Leah spat back in their heads.

"LEAH Let me just find out what the matter GO HOME I'll bring him back, okay. **PHASE NOW**!"

As his alpha timbre echoed in his head, he felt three pops, and then he was alone with only Sam, there.

"Seth" he soothed, "It is just me now. It's me Sam. Come on Lil Bro, tell me what's up I would rather you told me then, me bullying it out you. You know I hate doing that. And for the love of the spirits stop singing please".

Seth stopped mid sentence, not out of choice, Sam had subtly added a command in for his wolf, and his wolf responded, his voice wavered as he tried to sing another word. Growling, he shook his head at Sam.

"Where are you going?" Now without the constant lyrics bouncing around his head, Sam caught the glimpses of Billy's red house in his mind.

"Billy's? Why? What's going on Seth? I won't ask again."

Seth growled but replayed the whole conversation with Bella. His emotions of anger at her disregard for Jake's feelings, then his confusion at her own bewilderment and finally his unsettled feeling all laced through his memories. Sam sucked in a lungful air.

"She didn't send it? She didn't know?" He whispered as the younger wolf, pushed harder with his paws to reach the elder's house hopefully before the confused and angry teenage girl. Realising Seth's urgency now was to either warn if not prevent Bella's wrath being set upon the unsuspected old man, Sam dug his claws into the dirt and pushed his way to the Black's house as well.

"Seth it's not your fault. None of us knew she wasn't the one who sent it."

"But we all believed she could be that much of a heartless bitch Sam. All of us. Not one of us thought to give her the benefit of the doubt. She is falling too pieces without him Sam. She doesn't understand why he never said goodbye. I know she has hurt him, I know she made her choice but Sam if she didn't care then why the hell hasn't she run off into the sunset with _HIM yet?"_

Seth's tone surprised Sam, but what surprised him more was that Seth was the only one who happily thought of the Cullens as people not vampires. He had learnt their names, and called them by their real names and not the derogatory names the rest of the pack used for them. Hell he even considered him and Edward to be somewhat friends, since the newborn battle, yet now he was struggling. Something wasn't right here.

"You think _he _sent it don't you?"

"Who else?" The sandy coloured wolf growled out.

"Bella didn't and she said Alice wouldn't have gone against her and I believe that. Alice agreed that to plan the wedding she would follow the very few rules Bella stipulated. I never asked what they were but I knew she agreed because Bella wouldn't have allowed her to plan it otherwise."

"Well it sounds like not inviting Jacob was one of them" Sam concluded.

"Of course it was! Why on earth would Bella want to hurt him like that, or worse put him in the position where he would be torn over the right thing to do. She knows that Jake would put himself through it if it made her happy and Bella wouldn't want that. She wouldn't have put him in that position, or want to hurt him. Hell would you put Lee through that?" The older wolf choked in response, feeling like he had been punched in the gut by a wrecking ball. "Why the hell didn't we all see this sooner? Why didn't I?" Seth bit out angrily.

"Seth we all believed it. It wasn't just you."

"Yes but we all just ditched her, we all thought the worst and dropped her. I ditched her, I dropped her, she is like my sister and I dropped her", he moaned.

"YOU. DID. NOT. DROP. HER." Sam snarled at the younger wolf. "You might not have liked her treatment or what you thought she did but you were the only one who STILL gave her the time of day. You took her calls every time she rang Seth. So don't you dare think you abandoned her. Hell you are the only one who had any time for her, and you took all the shit the others gave you for it. You are the only one who hasn't abandoned one of our own."

Billy's house appeared in front of them both from different angles, but they were both coming from the forest, they could hear the faint rumble of Bella's truck.

"Fuck!" Sam exclaimed.

"Oh shit!" yelped Seth at the same time when he realised he had phased on the fly and had no pants with him.

"Go in the back, There will be something for you to wear in Jake's room". Both phased as they hit the end of the tree line.

As both wolves phased out, neither had been aware of the third wolf, silently watching and listening from the Canadian mountains, where he was now inhabiting.

He had been stunned by Seth's memories, of Bella's anger and hurt. Seth's worries and concerns about her had shaken him to the core. He knew she had been asking after him, Seth had accidentally let it slip a few times, as the other's goaded him. They had picked up on his annoyance at her constant questioning. He had thought the same as the others. Why hadn't she run off into the sunset with her bloodsucker, why was she bothering still, why couldn't she let him go?

But hearing today's revelations was making his wolf go crazy, he wanted to go home. It was the messed up teenage boy who was fighting him tooth and nail. He didn't want to go back there. He didn't want to even give in to the hope she maybe missing him as much as he missed her. He knew it would do no good. She would still marry her Leech, and go off to become one of them, and that alone was enough to make his heart shatter all over again. Howling in agony, the wolf phased back as the human boy won, as he fell to the floor, crying in heartbroken anguish. The love for the only girl he had ever loved and would ever love, as long as he lived. His wolf was weakening being so far from his home, his pack, and his Bella. Jake knew he would continue to weaken until eventually he would simply die. Or once she was turned he would die from the heartbreak. His imprint would be dead and when that happened his wolf would die too taking Jake the human boy with him. Jacob didn't want his family and friends to witness his slow painful demise so when he had decided to run, he had quickly decided the fairest thing to do all round was to keep running until the distance or time away from his love would slowly destroy him or the death of her human life would kill him.

As the young man, wept and howled with tears, as his body violently shook with his grief, his father was slowly wheeling himself to the front door of his small red wooden house, as Bella's truck pulled loudly to a stop outside. He heard the cab door slam as tiny footsteps stamped up the porch. The door was swung open and the tiny body of his best friend's daughter barrelled into the room and promptly stopped at his feet, squeaking in surprise. Clearly she hadn't realised he was coming to greet her.

"Billy" She made to smile in her greeting before her face grinded into a livid frown.

"Bella what a love…"

"Don't patronize me Billy!" she spat out furiously.

"I didn't lie to you Bella!" Billy cajoled her calmly. He thought of her as a daughter, he had watched her grow up just as her own family had. He was sad and heartbroken that both Bella and Jake were both so clearly hurting but he couldn't do a thing about it. He had to wait and let it play out, even though Rachel had begged her father to intervene, and tell Bella the truth, or have Sam order Jake home. But he had refused. He firmly believed the spirits wouldn't have made the imprint if it wasn't to work. He had to believe that. He couldn't believe that they would let both his only son and Bella effectively die. He knew Jake had ran to save them all the grief of watching his wolf weaken, and it killed him to think that Jake could very well die somewhere Gods knows where alone. Billy prayed every night to the spirits and to his dear Sarah to keep Jake strong and alive and they would fix this holy mess before it was too late.

"YES! YES YOU DID! You told me you didn't know why he left! You did! You knew…" Bella broke, collapsing to the floor, with a pain so intense she felt her insides were on fire. She let out a shrill scream as the pain ripped through her.

"SAM!" Billy called, as the tall young man appeared besides him before he had realised he was there, and called for him. It was times like these, Billy cursed his wheelchair. He wanted nothing more than to scoop this child from his floor and sooth her. He knew that somewhere out there his son was in the same state and in the same pain. He couldn't soothe Jake, but maybe through helping his imprint it may ease some pain in his lonely son's heart.

"Bella, Its Sam." The older man's face was pained as he knelt beside her as she screamed and crawled at her chest in pain. He looked at the elder beside him, for reassurance and guidance. Billy nodded, so Sam scooped Bella up into his arms, and carried her to the sofa. Wrapping his arms around her, he sat gently on the sofa, and rocked her gently. Bella froze as the hot strong arms encircled her, then realising it wasn't the right arms, she begun to sob uncontrollably again. This was the reason Sam had thought to announce who it was before he touched her. Billy steered himself beside them and lent over Bella, placing his hand on her head, and stroked her head lovingly.

"Hush, child."

"It hurts so much" was all she could say, over and over. Stood in the door way of Jake's room was the younger man, who was burning inside, knowing he had caused this pain. He looked at Bella, and resolved that enough was enough. Turning he fled through the open bedroom window, and raced for the tree line.

"What hurts Bella? Your chest? Or is it something more?"

"M-m-m-more"

"Tell me" he coaxed.

"I miss him so much; I would take this pain everyday just to see him. I feel like I'm not whole without him. It is worse than before."

"Before?"

"Y-y-y-yes"

"Bella, come here and give an old man a cuddle. Tell me everything, I think it is time we stopped with the half truths don't you?"

Sam's head snapped at the older man, Billy shook his head, letting the younger man know he had no intentions of telling her about the imprint. Jake wanted Bella only if she loved him for him, not because of some 'wolfy curse'. Billy was an astute man, he knew a lot of things, most things others would never pick up on or many most had not even realised for themselves yet, or they just refused to acknowledge. He knew as he had known for many years, since they were small children Bella and Jacob were destined to be together. Things had gone off course, after all they had never guessed she would stop visiting at the age of twelve, but he had suspicions on the reasons for that, nor had he anticipated a vampire coming into the equation. But he had known as soon as Sam Uley had phased that Jake would as well. He had hoped if that happened that Jake would imprint on Bella and all this mess would have been cleared up but it hadn't gone to plan, no one had realised the depth of Bella's feelings for the vampire, or his influence over Bella. So stubbornly Jake refused to admit the imprint and Billy suspected deep down Bella was too afraid to declare her feelings to Jake, when he had yet to imprint. Bella had been abandoned once before, and suffered the pain of it. She had loved and lost too much already in her short life, she wasn't prepared to take the gamble on Jake, and losing again. It was too much a risk. Bella wanted love, stability, and most of all family. She had found two with the two men who shared her heart; a coven of vampires, and a pack of wolves. But she couldn't keep both, one offered her all that she wanted, and all she had to give up was her humanity, which to a young naïve eighteen tear old girl seemed absolutely nothing to give up for the gains she would receive. She had no idea at all what that would entail and exactly what it would cost her, and even if she did it was nothing compared to losing everything, if she chose Jake only for him to imprint. She would lose her love, stability and the family she would have been surrounded by herself as well as the life she had built. For Bella that was too greater risk, then her humanity.

The worst part for Billy was being fully aware all this BS was for nothing. He knew as the whole pack did, and probably that mind reading vamp of a boyfriend of hers, that if she was just brave enough to let go and fall, Jake would be there to catch her, and never let her go. But Bella, like her father and like Jacob himself, was too damn stubborn to even contemplating the idea of letting go long enough to see what might happen instead she clung to her vampire, while he slowly used her fears to his advantages.


	3. Chapter 3

******Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the**** property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Part two  
****_Coming apart_**

"Bella, come here and give an old man a cuddle. Tell me everything, I think it is time we stopped with the half truths don't you?"

Sam had tried his best to soothe the inconsolable girl, currently wrapped tightly in a ball on his lap. Her arms were wrapped around her torso as she rocked, almost like she was trying to hold herself together, every few seconds she would let out a pain stricken wail, like she was in agony, before a fresh wave of sobs rocked her small frame again. Every time he touched her, she would subconsciously lean into him her breathing would hitch, her heart would stutter, and then as she realised who he was she would pull away again. Sam knew she was reacting to his warmth, his smell and voice. They were all too similar to the wolf she was pining for. He looked at Billy for help. Bella hadn't responded to Billy, it was almost as if she hadn't heard him so Billy tried again.

"Bella, come to me sweetheart", he asked in his deep dulcet soft voice.

Bella shakily tried to climb out of Sam's lap, and attempted to stand, but as she left the security and warmth of his embrace she stumbled with her weaken state. Sam lurched to her side, gently grasping her arms and guided her over to Billy. Sam had been surprised when he had picked Bella up, at how tiny she was. He could clearly feel her bones through her clothes. She had always been petite and had a small frame, but she had always had a healthy physique well except when the Bloodsucker abandoned her, and she started to visit Jacob. They had all seen how she looked in the early days from his memories.

Bella barely made it to Billy before she crumbled onto her knees, on the floor in front of his feet. Billy raised his creased, aged hand, and placed it on Bella's soaking wet cheek. He guiding her gently until her head was resting in his lap, as he stroked her hair, and face tenderly, singing softly in Quileute, as her sobbing gradually subdued. Sam nodded at the elderly man, as he walked to the phone to call Leah, speaking so quickly and quietly that neither of the two humans could possible understand him as he filled Leah in on everything he had found out. He growled darkly in response as Leah began to rant angrily at him, down the phone. Hanging up on an irate she wolf, he ran out to phase and find Seth, leaving Bella in Billy's good hands.

Sam took a deep sniff of the surrounding air inhaling Seth's scent he followed it from the Black's house in to the tree line. Reaching the trees, he pulled his cut offs, off and leaving them on the ground, as he phased.

"Seth?" He called in his head.

"How is she?" came the small broken voice of the younger wolf.

"She will be okay bro none of this is your fault. This is all on Bella and Jake. Those two need some sense bashed into their tiny brains. You just got pulled in to it, unfairly." Sam's memory quickly flashed through a slide show of memories, ending in how he had left Bella with Billy. They felt a pop come into their heads. Both wolves were sure it was Jake, as Sam had ordered the patrolling wolves to phase back and patrol human, and the mystery wolf didn't greet them or announce their arrival. The only other wolf it could be was Leah, but he had a feeling she would have spoken as soon as she felt Seth. Neither tried to probe with their mind link to see who it was, instead Sam replayed Bella in his arm breaking down and screaming in pain. It was a low trick, but if it was Jacob, he wanted him to see what he doing, and knew that he would disappear straight away if they tried to talk to him. The third wolf's mental link stuttered over the images, as Sam spoke to Seth as if they were unaware there was anyone else there.

"Billy is going to try and get her to talk to him. She really scared him when she said it was worse than last time, she kept screaming her chest hurt and clinging to torso like she was falling apart,", he shrugged in his wolf form. "I need to get back Seth, I suggest you come too I have a feeling Leah is on her way over, and something tells me Bella is no way strong enough to deal with her the way she is" without waiting for a reply Sam phased out, Seth followed but not before Seth heard a low angry snarl.

Sam waited for Seth at the edge of the tree line.

"Well?" he asked.

"I felt him did you?" Sam gave a quick nod, so Seth continued, "He didn't say anything but I am positive I heard a snarl before I phased".

"I hope this works," Sam said as he looked down at a disheartened Seth.

"So do I. No disrespect Man, but I hope you know what you're doing. I don't know how much more either of them can take. Seeing Bella…" He broke off, and turned away from Sam to quickly wipe a lone tear before the older man saw just how upset he was. Seeing Bella so broken and inconsolable had really affected him. He had seen memories of Bella, from when Edward had left her, but seeing Bella with his own eyes, screaming and clawing at herself had completely freaked Seth out.

Sam placed a large hand on Seth's shoulder giving the younger man a firm squeeze when he couldn't finish his sentence. Sometimes it was hard for them all to remember despite looking like a twenty something year old man, Seth was only fourteen, and he had already been through more than most kids his age, hell more than most men. Despite his happy, go lucky nature, and sunny smile. He took all the stick the others especially Paul gave him in his stride.

Nothing seemed to bother or intimidate him, even when they had all found out he was still in contact with Bella, he had shrugged off the taunts and abuse. Sam hated seeing Seth so downcast. Seth had always looked up to Sam and Jake as his big brothers, but he idolised Jake, and adored Bella like a sister. It was that bond that had helped him befriend the Cullens, and wouldn't let him leave Bella, knowing she was hurting, but Sam could see just how much this was affecting him, Sam had seen him wipe his cheek, but ignored it.

Squeezing his shoulder again, he steered the younger man towards the Black's house, as they heard the front door bang open, the two men looked at each other and sped towards the house.

Leah Clearwater stormed into the Black's house ready to rip the leech lover to shreds, when both Sam and Seth shot through the door behind her. However as her gaze fell on the tiny girl, who had her head in Billy's lap as great sobs racked her body, momentarily surprising her. Her eyes locked with Billy's as he gave her a stern warning look and shook his head at her, guessing with her angry entrance why she was here. Sam warned her, by raising his hand at her in a stop motion, before she had even said anything. Leah growled in response to the two men, their warnings having the opposite effect on the she wolf. Instead she saw red, yet more men defending the bloodsucker lover.

_What is it with this bitch that makes guys want to defend her!_

"You have got to be shitting me? What she gets to do as she pleases and damn the rest of us? I am sick and tired of everyone tip toeing around her. Why is she even here she made her choice?!" The harshness of Leah's voice and hatred filled words startled Bella from her trance.

"LEAH!" All three men barked at her, as the tiny brunette, peered up at her. Making Leah baulk at her appearance; Bella's face was gaunt and haggard, she was deathly sallow, in fact she looked almost dead. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying, tear tracks ran down her face. But it was the empty vacant look in her eyes, and the way her arms were wrapped around herself, that shocked Leah, most of all. For a split second two thoughts crossed her mind, Bella was dying or Jacob was. In that moment Leah felt for Bella Swan. Walking slowly towards her, so she didn't spook her further, she knelt down opening her arms towards the younger girl, the three men watched tentatively unsure on Leah's sudden change of heart.

"Bella… come here sweetie." Normally Bella would have been extremely wary of Leah, especially Leah being nice, but Bella wasn't thinking. She had disappeared deep with herself she was too far gone, wrapped up in the pain ripping her apart on the inside. Leah pulled the minute girl into her lap, and cuddled Bella as fresh waves of tears flowed down her face. Leah raised an eyebrow at three men staring up at them, in question.

"What the hell has happened?"She mouthed, so Billy could be part of the conversation. Seth looked at his feet guiltily and shifted uncomfortably while Sam looked at Billy and Billy looked down at Bella.

"Is Jake..?" She didn't finish mouthing her next question before Sam was shaking his head vehemently.

He whispered so low only Leah and Seth heard him. "Jake is fine. Well he is alive and breathing… I wouldn't say he is fine. Neither of them is fine. I think the imprint and their distance from each other is beginning to effect them both physically now." Leah nodded, they all knew this would happen, but seeing it with her own eyes, was harder then she had imagined it would be. Part of her had secretly hoped Jacob, may be able to break the bond if he had got far enough away from Bella, not just for his own sake and to save his life, but because deep down she wished more than anything, there was some way Sam could have broke his imprint on Emily. Instead it was just as the legends had predicted. No matter how much she disliked the girl in her arms, she wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anyone. She had felt this pain, when Sam had left her. But it had always been Jacob Black Leah related to in this fucked up mortal enemies' love triangle Bella Swan had entangled herself in. It was his pain she understood as he watched Bella flaunt her relationship with the Leech, even after Jake had helped pull her back from her zombie days.

However Leah also knew deep down she was partly to blame for some of this mess. Bella had quickly become aware of the pain Leah had endured when Sam had imprinted on her cousin Emily, and the pain she was still suffering. Leah had inadvertently put the fear of god into Bella about imprinting. She knew Bella was absolutely petrified of imprinting first of all it had been the fear of being imprinted on, than it was because she hadn't been imprinted on by Jake, because the stupid jackass had lied to her about his imprint. Stubbornly arguing he wanted her to love him, for himself, and not because of this stupid curse he was born into and that Bella would never forgive him for lying to her, once he had said it. Now that lie was the reason both of them were suffering physically, emotionally and mentally.

When Bella had been told she wasn't Jake's imprint but that he loved her, and she had finally admitted she loved him too but it wasn't enough, Leah knew then, that the look Bella gave her wasn't pity but fear.

Fear that one day, if she actually did give in and choose the man she truly loved heart and soul, that she would one day watch that man fall in love with someone else, and have her heart would be ripped from her chest and shredded in front of everyone she loved. That the life Jake and she would have built together would be yanked from under her feet. Bella had already experienced that type of pain already with the Leech. She wasn't prepared to go through it again. The leech had already done just that, taking her best vamp friend and the coven of vampires she looked at as family with him.

Bella knew or she believed that one day she would wake up like Leah, heartbroken, alone and bitter. Jake had painstakingly put Bella back together after the Leech had left, but if Jake was to imprint and leave her, there would be absolutely no one left to put her back together again. She wouldn't just lose the love of her life but her best friend and the pack she loved as a second family, just as much as the coven of vampires.

Bella was scared of being abandoned, so she chose the safe option Leah was sure that was the real reason behind her choice to stay with the Bloodsucker. She didn't want to lose everything like Leah had. Leah had lost her best friend, and love of her life, when they had got together, like Bella would. The only difference was Bella's were the same person and she was his imprint. They could have a happy ever after if Jake would only pull his stubborn head out his arse and Bella could drag herself away from the bloodsucker's long enough to hear him out.

Leah had had enough of this shit, something needed to be done. She glared up at her ex and her alpha and hissed in a low whisper, so Bella, who was still huddled on her lap, wouldn't hear, "This is a fucking mess Sam. You have to do something! Now!"

"I can't Lee and you know I can't!"

"Bullshit! You just don't want too".

"LEAH! Tha…"

"No Sam, Jake will die soon if we don't get his arse home. Do you really want _our_ brother to _die_? And what about _her_?" she bobbed her head down towards Bella, who was still sobbing quietly now in her arms. "How do we know she won't die when he does? And if not what are we going to do then? What? We just let her go off to become one of them when we all know damn well she is meant to be one of us? She is supposed to be our true Alpha's mate for a reason? I thought we protected our own or don't we anymore?" She spat out the last bit, just to piss Sam off, she knew it bugged him when she threw the fact he wasn't the rightful true Alpha in his face. But Sam was clearly far too bothered about Bella to rise to her attempts to rile him.

"I can't stop her Lee! You damn well know that, what am I supposed to do? You know I can't tell her about the imprint only Jake can do that, and we don't even know if that will be enough to stop her marrying the Bloodsucker." Sam slumped defeated into the armchair, and put his head into his hands. Leah realised then that he was just as affected by Bella and Jake's plight as she was.

It was Billy that spoke. "Bella love I need to talk to you. I need you to talk to me. Can you do that for me?" Leah felt the girl whimper and sniff a reply. Leah rubbed Bella's back gently, and scooped her up and sat on the sofa, holding the petite brunette in her arms. Bella squeaked in surprise, realising where she was she attempted to climb out of Leah's lap, Leah gave a small low rumble, and held her in place. Bella was far too weak, in her current state, and the fact she looked like she hadn't eaten in weeks, made her slump unwillingly back against Leah's chest. Her body had been pining the heat as soon as she had made to move away.

"Seth can you get Bella a glass of water please?" Billy's deep bass voice echoed around the small but crowded living room. Bella was slowly coming out of the haze she had been in, and slowly looked around the room. She slowly took in everyone's expressions. Leah attempted a thin smile as she patted Bella's back encouragingly, Billy smiled at her tenderly and Sam still had his head in his hands, as Seth came back in looking like someone had died. The last time everyone looked like this was when Harry…

"Jake! Oh God! JAKE! Is Jake ok? Is he…?" she let out a blood curling scream as she fell to the floor, making Seth drop the glass in surprise as her shrill screams pierced through all their sensitive hearing. Sam's head snapped up as Leah covered her ears. Bella begun hyperventilating and violently shaking as panic and fear shredded her insides, as thoughts that something had happened to Jacob devastated her all over again.

"Bella!" Billy bellowed, "Jacob is fine. He is alive", Billy tried to assure her. Bella's breathing slowed faintly and her heart rate begun to reduce little by little, but just enough the three wolves relaxed their tense stances. Seth rushed to tidy up the mess he had made. Sam stood up and made his way over to Leah, Bella and Billy. He hunched down in front of the two females, he lifted Bella's chin so he could look straight into her eyes, or he would be, if she wasn't looking down, and peeking out from under her drenched eyelashes, as fresh tears streaked down her face.


	4. Chapter 4

"Bella!" Billy bellowed, "Jacob is fine. He is alive", Billy tried to assure her. Bella's breathing slowed faintly and her heart rate begun to reduce little by little, but just enough the three wolves relaxed their tense stances. Seth rushed to tidy up the mess he had made. Sam stood up and made his way over to Leah, Bella and Billy. He hunched down in front of the two females, he lifted Bella's chin so he could look straight into her eyes, or he would be, if she wasn't looking down, and peeking out from under her drenched eyelashes, as fresh tears streaked down her face.

**Part Three  
****_Breaking down_**

"Bella look at me please", Sam attempted to coax her into looking at him, keeping his voice a low hum, so he wouldn't make her more jumpy than she already was. Sam took in her wide eyed expression, and was suddenly reminded of the deer he had stumbled across a few days ago while patrolling. Bella had the same lifeless look, frozen in fear.

"Bella"

Painfully slowly like they were heavily weighted down, Bella lifted her eyes to look at Sam. The vacant look in her eyes scared Sam more than any vampire he had ever came across. He sucked in air, with the shock, of the young girl he had seen so full of laughter and happiness next to Jake at the bonfire not so many weeks ago, and now she looked like an empty shell. His gaze flickered briefly to Leah's; who he imagined, was wearing a similar expression to the one currently etched across his. _She was right, how the hell had it come to this?_

"I need you to listen to me, can you do that? It's important", she stared straight through him as if he wasn't there, he wasn't even sure if she could hear him, from wherever she was. The only thing which had any effect on puncturing through the thick fog Bella was currently lost in seemed to be the panic that something had happened to Jacob. Seeing this as the only way to break in to her subconscious and draw her out, Sam took it, and prayed it worked.

"It is important because it is about Jacob, Bella." Almost like he had flicked a switch, Sam saw a faint glimmer of life, in her eyes as they struggled to focus on him.

"Jacob" her voice was so low, it was a mere ghost on her lips, that even Sam with his supernatural hearing, had to read her lips, to be sure she had said it. He nodded, "Yes, Jacob. I need to talk to you about Jake but I need you to come back to us Bella. I need you here, for this to work."

"Can you do that Bella? For Jacob? Can you do that for me?" The deep, powerful voice of Billy Black resonated from over Sam's shoulder. Bella's turned her head, her unfocused gaze eventually falling upon Billy's face. She appeared surprised to see him here. It was like she was seeing him for the first time. Bella nodded, as her state of mind began to slowly return, bit by bit. It seemed almost like she was awaking from a very deep sleep, her eyes flicked around her surroundings suddenly falling on the lap she was sat on, she rapidly jumped out of Leah's embrace like she had been electrocuted.

"Lee-lee-leah… I-I-I'm s-so-sor-ry", she stuttered as her face flushed with a subtle pink glow.

"I don't…."

"I put you there Swan," Leah shrugged at Bella, "you looked like absolute shit and like you could do with a hug."

Bella physically baulked at Leah. It would seem she was now alert enough that she had picked up on the fact Leah had referred to her as 'Swan' and not by one of her usual derogatory names, like she normally did. Admittedly it wasn't her first name, but Sam knew Bella was observant enough, even half lost, like she was, that for Leah to call her anything that wasn't laced with venom that something must be wrong, very wrong, let alone she had also done something so uncharacteristic as to hold anyone let alone the tiny girl who was marrying their mortal vampire. Bella was very conscious that the fact the pack frowned upon her continued friendship with Jacob, and she was even more aware that both Leah and Paul had an extremely strong aversion to her, after all it wasn't like either of them, had enough tact to attempt to hide it.

"What's going on?" She asked shakily, as she looked around the room, like she had only minutes before, Sam hoped she wouldn't have another panic attack, he wasn't sure how much more he could take, before his wolf, bolted out the door to alpha order Jacob home, and the man in him really didn't want to do that.

But this was beginning to get too much, for the three wolves in the room, more so for Sam and Seth, who were more involved with Bella, than Leah but even so it had affected her. All the wolves were very protective of the imprints; it went against every fibre in their beings, to see one of them in pain and to not do something about it, even with an imprint that had effectively refused the imprint.

Although the man in Sam knew Bella hadn't refused the imprint, she didn't know about it to refuse it and she had made it perfectly clear to Jacob, that all she wanted from him was friendship which had been fine with his wolf, even though the man in Jacob had wanted much more. The wolf had been happy to have her as a friend for the time being, knowing she would return the imprint soon enough. Until they had all found out about Bella's future plans to be changed and then when she finally admitted she was also in love with Jacob after their kiss on the mountain, had been the turning point for the wolf, it had sensed for a while of her feelings changing, and as they had so had the wolf's. They had grown stronger and deeper, as had Bella's, it was how Jacob was so adamant he knew how she felt. The wolf's feelings had only intensified Jacob the man's feelings. Both man and wolf wanted Bella as partner and mate. But unbeknown to Bella when she walked away from Jacob, that day, stating their love wasn't strong enough for her to leave Edward; she had effectively killed a part of both the boy and wolf.

The rejection had been too much for both of them, but Jacob had tried to fight it, so he could be what Bella needed, never losing hope she may change her mind, and realise she did in fact love him enough. However the day the wedding invitation arrived had snapped the last remaining thin strand of hope Jake had left.

It was over. The Leech had won. He had Jacob's imprint and his best friend, and _he_ was going to change her into one of them. Jacob had lost. He had nothing left to lose. Both the man and the wolf had finally given up.

Billy and Sam were very conscious of how serious this was for the two people they both loved as family, even if they had no clue themselves. Both men knew that they weren't to do anything about it; it had to be resolved by Bella and Jacob, alone or not at all. Sam had agreed up until now, but seeing Bella like this, he knew he had to do something. He looked at Billy who nodded at him. Clearly they were both in agreement; enough was enough.

Sam was well aware the only thing that had kept Jacob and his wolf from destroying the Leech was that it would kill Bella and no matter how much the man was blinded by hurt, the wolf was in control enough to know that such an action would destroy his imprint beyond repair, and the man didn't want to win by default, he wanted to be chosen. Hell even his wolf wanted to be chosen. Instead both had done what he had said he would do on the mountain he would take himself out of the equation, but this way she would never know the truth.

She may feel the pain if he died before she was turned but it wouldn't stop her from changing. Sam also knew the reason Jake wouldn't come home was the risk that her being changed didn't kill him. He would never risk the chance of seeing her as a vampire in case his natural instincts took over him or one of his brothers. No Jacob had done what he felt was best for his imprint, his pack and his family. But Sam had no intentions of letting it get that far. He wasn't meant to be Alpha Leah was right, Bella was chosen by the spirits for a reason, and it was time Jacob came home, took his imprint and his rightful place. Sam had taken the role of Alpha, waiting until Jake had phased, he had let the Cullens ruin his life, as well as the two women he had ever loved, as well as all the young wolves he had taken under his wings so to speak, he loved each of the wolves as his brothers, but he had enough now. He wasn't prepared to let the Cullens to continuing fucking up the lives around him anymore.

"Bella we need you to tell us what the hell has been going on? How long have you been having pains? Or is today the first time? Has anything else happened? Why haven't you said anything? What do you mean its worst then the first time? Why do you keep holding your stomach? Why…?"

"Jeez Sam give the girl a fucking minute. For fuck's sake, she has just come round, are you trying to send back to la la land again! Bloody men! You never think", Leah shouted at Sam, making Bella jump in fright as she stared at him, frozen like a deer in headlights. "Bella sit!"

The small girl sat down beside the irate she wolf too scared to refuse. Seth slipped back into the room, and sat beside her holding a glass towards her, and wrapped her hands around it, but kept his hands around hers, as he brought it up to her lips as she shook fiercely. She took a tentative sip, but as the cool liquid touched the back of her throat she begun guzzling it down, like her life depended on it. Seth took one hand of the glass and wrapped it around her shoulders, in the hope, it would help stop her shaking and warm her ice cold body.

Once she had finished the glass of water, Seth leaned in and bumped her shoulder, like Jake used to, making a sob escape her lips, realising he had done something wrong, Seth rushed to apologise and took his arm off her shoulders, as Bella's soulful eyes met his, unshed tears balanced on her lashes.

"Hey, sssh, don't be upset Bella, please" he soothed her, taking her hand, as she gave him a tiny twitch of a smile. "I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry."

Bella shook her head, out of everyone she knew, Seth was the last person she knew who would ever try to hurt her. Jake was second on that list, followed by her dad and Edward. Edward came fourth because she knew he had the power to hurt her by simply thinking he was doing what was best for her. Like when he left before. She knew he wouldn't leave her again, but the fear was there, and really Jake had hurt her more than even Edward when he left, even if he did it for himself and not to hurt her, after all had he known she would hurt this much she was sure he would have stayed here, even if it killed him.

"You… he did that… Ja…" her voice broke on his name, and soft sobs began to fall again.

"Oh for fucks sake Swan! If you want to help Jacob, pull yaself together." Bella choked back the sobs that had yet to fall and nodded at the fiery woman sat next to her, as bafflement contorted her face into a frown, "Help him? Is he in trouble?" Her eyes flickered like a wild, caged animal, around the three faces who were all staring at her apprehensively, all on guard as if they were waiting for something.

She saw each and every one of them flinch as she asked if Jacob was in trouble, she saw the flicker of panic, of pain, of fear. Jumping to her feet and curling her tiny hands into tight fists, as she realised she was right. "He is isn't he? What are you all hiding from me? I want to know! Tell me now!" she angrily shouted, making Billy's puckered mouth twitch as a smile curved his aging lips.

"Ah there she is, our Bella! Welcome back sweetheart. Cor you sure gave this old man a fright there" he chuckled. Bella stared at her father's best friend with confusion. His son was in trouble and he was laughing at her? _What the hell is going on here?_

"Sit down Bella, we have much to discuss but I need you to stay calm and listen carefully, regardless of what you hear, you have to hear everything before you react. Agreed?" Bella nodded mutely up at him, but remained standing until a hot, strong hand yanked her back down to the settee. She looked at Leah, who shrugged, "You were making me uncomfortable". This Leah was being too nice and it was beginning to freak Bella out.

"What's going on Leah? You hate me, so why are you suddenly being nice? What is really going on and don't give me some crap, I want the truth Leah!"

Leah looked Bella straight in the eye, arching a perfect eyebrow at her. Leah was impressed this Bella appeared to have some balls. Leah snorted a sarcastic laugh at Bella, "Swan you couldn't handle the truth even if it came and bit you on the arse! If you could handle it you would have been told it months ago, and we wouldn't all be in this giant pile of shit waiting fo.."

"LEAH!" Sam growled at her, effectively stopping Leah's rant. Bella swung around to look at Sam before she turned to look at Leah who was furiously glaring at Sam.

"Waiting for what Leah, tell me. Leah! Tell me!"

Leah opened her mouth but nothing came out, snapping her mouth closed angrily, she stomped off into the kitchen. Bella turned to Sam, "Well Sam, clearly whatever you don't want Leah telling me is worth an order and a pissed off Leah, so what the hell are you keeping from me? If Jacob is in trouble I need to know, right now. Where is he? If you won't help him I will, where is he?" Sam stared at her, taken aback with Bella's sudden temper. He had seen snapshots of Bella's fiery side, from Jacob's memories but he had never witnessed it himself. What he found ironic was that the people she should be directing her anger at, she wasn't. I_n fact _she always seemed super calm and withdrawn around them, a mere shadow of the Bella she was around Jacob, maybe it was an imprint thing he summarised.

Realising he was going off task, Sam shook his head trying to clear his thoughts, however Bella took this as his response, so she swung around angrily to face Billy instead.

"Billy. So. Help. Me. Someone. Better. Tell. Me. What. The. Hell. Is. Going. On." She ground out. "Billy I respect you, hell I love you like a second father, you know I have always seen you and Sarah, all of you, as family, hell you two practicality raised me those first few summers…" Billy gasped in surprise, "You remember?" he whispered.

"I didn't. Not until recently. I think I blocked a lot of things out, you know after… but I have been having a lot of dreams, like flashbacks," she shrugged embarrassed by the sudden intense attention she was receiving.

"Tell me" he requested. Bella looked at him, he had the same expression Jake wore when he wanted her to share something with him, something he knew was important to her, and seeing Jake there, in his father's aging face made her heart stutter as it felt like it was going to explode with both love and heartbreak, right there and then.

"Tell me about Jake and I will tell you anything, _anything_ you want to know!" she implored as she looked between both Billy and Sam, they both realised what she was offering. Loyalties be damned, at this moment in time the only person she cared about was Jacob and finding out what was going on and whether he really was safe, she would deal with whatever else happened after.

"Sit please Bella" Billy spoke in the voice, Bella thought of as his Chief voice, as he wheeled himself so he was sat directly in front of her. Sam stood, and picked the armchair he had been sat in, like it was nothing but air, and placed it next to Billy's. Leah came back in and quietly sat back down next to Bella. Seth placed his arm over her shoulders, giving her shoulder a gentle but firm squeeze, but what surprised her more than anything, was when Leah took her hand in hers, gave it a short, quick squeeze before letting it go. Bella looked up at her, and gave her a tiny timid smile. Bella had never been so scared then she was in this moment and felt sick to the stomach, something bad was coming. Leah must have seen the pain in her face, because she took hold of Bella's hands again and wrapped her own around them, almost like she was trying to give Bella some of her strength. As Billy cleared his throat, Bella glanced down at her and Leah's entwined hands then she looked back up to Chief Black's face, as he begun to speak.

"Jacob is alive, but barely." Bella sucked a lungful of air in, as the words took hold of her. She kept sucking air in, pulling it down, into her lungs because she felt like she was suffocating, but no about of air was saving her. She felt herself falling, and falling. Everything was getting blurry and dark, and colder, so cold, so dark, and then she fell off the precipice.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Four  
_No where to hide _**

"Jacob is alive, but barely." Bella sucked a lungful of air in, as the words took hold of her. She kept sucking air in, pulling it down, into her lungs because she felt like she was suffocating, but no about of air was saving her. She felt herself falling, and falling. Everything was getting blurry and dark, and colder, so cold, so dark, and then she fell off the precipice.

**oOo**

Meanwhile Jacob had been fighting the overwhelming urge to phase and run. He had eventually given in to his wolf and was now charging through the Canadian Mountains. Running usually enabled Jacob to let himself go, allowed him to let his thoughts and feelings wash over him briefly and allowed him to close off the human and become the animal. He could give himself over to nature, to feel a sense of harmony, and freedom; just the landscape alone usually fascinated him and the rhythmic sound of his paws hitting the dirt and the pumping of his heart, always seemed to calm him, combined with the feel of the wind in his fur, and only the smells, sights, and sounds of nature to keep him company. But today none of it was helping. The landscape was nothing more than a haphazard blend of greens and browns, smeared across a blank canvas. Today he felt no freedom or peace as his large paws dug into the ground underneath him, pushing him forward faster and faster. It felt good to run, to let go, to punish his muscles to the point they were screaming at him to slow down, but the cloak of tranquil and calm he wished for, to silence his conflicted heart and mind never came. No matter how fast or how far he ran, his ghosts still haunted him.

Suddenly he was knocked to the floor, as a sharp searing ache ripped through his head, crippling and paralysing all of his senses momentarily, as a tortured howl escaped his jaws, as the nauseating pain took hold of him. Plunging him into a sinister dark and silent abyss.

_What the hell is going on? Am I dead? Where I am? If this is heaven I want a refund!_

Ever so faintly Jacob thought he could just hear the soft vibration of someone calling his name, as it grew gradually louder, but never became more than a whisper in the breeze around him. But to his already sensitive hearing the whisper sounded like the voice was screaming in his ear.

This voice, he knew better than any other sound, even his own, just like that heartbeat. Those two sounds were pivotal to him, like the air he needed to breathe. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he could identify both, in even the most crowded of places. He would never be able to forget either sound, because they belonged to her. It was almost like they were branded into his psyche, just like her face, her smell, in fact everything about her, hell she was branded on to his soul. No matter how much he tried to forget her, he couldn't. He would have happily done anything at this moment in time to banish thoughts of her from his mind; to be free from the torture, of the consuming thoughts, feelings, and memories of her.

The pull of the imprint, the need and want he had for her; to see her, hear her, smell her, to touch her. The yearning he had for her had only grown stronger, the longer he stayed away, the further he ran, the more he weakened, the greater the ache was for her. He couldn't win. She was his sole reason for living, neither man or beast wanted to live without her, but as time away from her grew, her time as a human diminished. His feelings had simply intensified. However seeing her screaming in pain and crying in Sam and Seth's thoughts had made his wolf wild with anger, and fear. The pull to check on her, to make sure she was safe and well had blinded him. She was all he could see, think and feel, even now as he lay dying all he could hear was her calling him; like she was calling him back to her, calling him home. Not home to La Push but to her, because she was his home. She was the other half of his soul. The human's soul mate and the wolf's imprint, the spirits had made it abundantly clear to him and for him, so he knew, unmistakably just who he was supposed to be with. Hell he was surprised fate and the spirits hadn't gone one further and posted a massive neon arrow sign above her head! Here she is, the love of your life, your best friend, your soul mate, your imprint. But why had they given him everything he could ever want, all wrapped in the beautiful inside and out package that was Bella Swan only to then make her fall in love with someone else, and not him.

If she was just his imprint, as long as she was happy he could have been her friend, or had she been just his soul mate, he could hope and pray his imprint could rescue him from dying in this pain. Jacob could have taken either of those, stepped aside or even waited for her to fall in love with him, one day if that someone was just a normal person but no he was a vampire; a blood sucking vampire and one that was old enough to be her great grandfather! But also one that was 'apparently' gorgeous, clever and rich everything Jacob wasn't. Well he wasn't ugly, and he knew Bella found him somewhat attractive, but not vampire good looking, not drop dead gorgeous. Jacob didn't have anything nor could he offer Bella anything, especially not the thing she wanted most of all, the thing she was willing to give her friends and family and her life, for the thing she was willing to die for; immortality, although Jacob believed it was nothing more then a fear of growing old more than a wish to live forever. But what could Jacob really offer her besides keeping her humanity and offering her the chance to have a family of her own. That was it. Neither of which Bella was interested in, she didn't want either. If she did choose him she would be forever stuck in La Push, with no money or prospects. No she would be crazy to pick him, even if she hadn't wanted immortality and to be a vampire more.

But Jacob knew deep down, the part that knew Bella better than herself, aided with the ability of knowing exactly what his imprint wanted, that beneath the wish to stay forever young, Bella wanted quick fixes to her insecurities, to be stronger, more attractive, less vulnerable, to be an asset, she wanted a feeling of belonging, of family, of self worth, she believed becoming a vampire would give her all of these. But Jacob knew for all the things he couldn't give her, for the lack of money, of expensive gifts and the ability to travel all over the world, he could offer her something much more meaningful, he could give her a lifetime, a human life time of happiness, true companionship, and stability surrounded by their family, friends, their children. But more than anything he could give her, his undying love. Bella possessed him, completely; she had him, heart, body and soul, and he knew even after his heart stopped beating, and he had taken his last breath he would still love her. But she didn't want him. Any part of him.

"Jake…. her voice faded, her heartbeat faltered.

"Bells?" Damn it, even dying I am still wrapped around her little finger, talk about whipped. Good job the boys will never know, my last dying breathe was her name.

"Jake…"

"Bella ….up come ….sugar…back …me love…. can't lose you ….Jacob."

"Dad?" What the hell is dad doing here?

"Billy ….she ….ok mind ….to recover…." Leah?

"Sam…problem… HE… Bella… thirty… get…her… treaty…damned" Lots of growling.

What the hell was happening where was he?

Suddenly Jake felt the oddest sensation a surge rippled through him, he felt stronger, but even stranger for him, he felt warm. A warm glow engulfed his heart, making him feel calmer. Another voice spoke to him, one he hadn't heard in years, "Concentrate my little Alpha".

"Mum?"

"Yes my Little AJ, Focus." Her little Alpha Jake… that was her name for him when it was just them.

"Am I…"

"No, my son. Focus. IS she the one?"

"Yes, you know she is. She has always been the one, always."

"Then Jacob, why aren't you fighting for her?"

"I have, damn it. I tried. She doesn't want me. Don't you think I would be there now, if she wanted me?!"

"But you haven't tried everything. Try again. One last time but be honest use your heart. You are too blinded with the here and now, to busy thinking. You have to follow your heart and it will work out. You have it in you. Feel it. Have faith my son, and listen to your father, I taught him well." Her contagious tinkling laugh resonated around Jacob, and made him want to laugh along with her, even though he didn't feel like it, then he felt the warmth he had felt fade. She was gone, and Jacob felt like his ten year old heart was breaking all over again.

As a bright light penetrated his eyelids Jacob startled awake, blinking his eyes a few times before he opened them but was astonished to make out Leah, holding an unconscious Bella, his Bella, while his father was hunched over her, trying to wake her, a furiously vibrating Sam hovering above the three of them, and he was shaking too, violently. Jacob looked around and caught his reflection. Seth? What the hell was going on? If he wasn't dead he must be dreaming!

"BELLA! Billy! Sam! Do something!" Leah screamed, making Jacob's head, no Seth's head jerk upwards. _Shit! I need to get home. I need to get to Bella. I need Bella._

Without even allowing Jacob time to think, his wolf was already bounding across the mountains, and for the first time in weeks, Jacob gave himself over completely to the wolf, he was finally allowing the one thing he had denied his wolf, to feel the pull of their imprint. The wolf didn't need to think, simply relied on the pull deep within his chest the invisible thread that was attached to his imprint was pulling them home, back to her and inside the wolf was going crazy with happiness.

Jacob finally felt the calm he had been searching for wash over him as his paws pummelled the dirt below his feet, his heart pounded in his chest, as his thoughts chanted; _BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA. BELLA, all in sync._


	6. Chapter 6

**Part Five:**

_**Holding on and Letting Go**_

Bella was in free fall, she felt like she had been thrown out of an airplane minus the parachute. Everything around her was a solid jet black she couldn't see anything, just black. She tried to search within her mind, to how she had got here, but nothing came. Her mind was empty, she felt weightless and completely numb, almost like she was floating but the sensation in her mind, and the rolling nausea in her stomach felt like she was rapidly plummeting down to earth and any moment now she was going to hit whatever was waiting for her at the bottom. She braced herself for the impact. Maybe she had died? Maybe this was what death felt like.

Bella suddenly felt sick and scared at the thought. She didn't want to die she wasn't ready. She still had so much she wanted to do, and she hadn't got to say goodbye to all the people she loved. To tell them she loved them and just how much. Charlie and Renee and Billy and Jacob, that name and that face spearing into her psyche, her heart gave an almighty thud.

JACOB. JAKE. Billy flashed in her mind telling her he was alive but only just. _Oh my God Jacob, my Jacob. He can't die, he can't, he just can't. The world wouldn't be the same without him in it; without his sunny, wide, toothy grin, his loud, rumbling laugh that makes his whole body shake, his hot, strong embraces, and his always happy persona. The world couldn't survive without Jake in it. I couldn't survive without Jacob in the world. It would be an unrelenting eclipse, forever dark and cold. It would be Hell, but not the one you grow up fearing, where the devil and sinners live, with the fiery flames and scorching heat, where you spend eternity burning._  
_No this would be worse, far worse. This would be a living hell_.

Bella knew she couldn't live in a world without her Jake, her best friend, best man, her rock and personal sun in it. Even after she was changed she knew the world would still have the beauty that was Jacob. He was beauty personified inside and out. The world had to have him. He would still be in La Push, with Billy and Charlie, looking out for both their fathers, when she couldn't. Growing old, meeting and falling in love with his imprint, getting married, having beautiful, gorgeous children, that looked like him and took after him, he would leave his mark on the world, so that he lived on even after he had lived a long and happy human life but only if he actually lived… and he had too. There was no other choice.

Suddenly Bella was stood on the back porch of a small wooden house, looking into the forest, with her gorgeous russet wolf sat magnificently at her side, as two small black haired children giggling and laughing ran away from them, just as she felt a pair of hot strong arms, lace around her waist, locking one hand in hers, interlacing their fingers, while the other rubbed over her protruding bump. As she peered down to see a wedding ring glistening in the sun, a deep chuckle rumbled in her ear, before kissing her on the back of head, as the voice she knew better than her own called to the children "Ready or not Daddy's coming to getcha" and the lean, muscled, godlike body of the man who had been her best friend, and saviour, sprung from the porch phasing back into his wolf as he raced after the gleefully cackling children.

Bella felt her heart pang as she recognised this vision, it was similar to the one she had on the mountain. The day everything had finally fallen into place, but then just before the last piece had been slotted in, she felt the bottom drop out, and all the pieces were now in a messy, chaotic, tangled pile on the floor. Much like how Bella felt. That was how her head and heart had been ever since that fateful day. Then Jake had left, and she had felt herself freefalling, spiralling, she felt he had taken half of her with him and she would never ever be whole again. She had not felt this lost, not since the first time Jacob had came back into her life again, the day she had appeared with the motorcycles. Something was severely wrong but Bella couldn't put her finger on what it could be. Other than missing her best friend. But then the pains, the constant chill, that eerie sense of undying loss, of being alone, and of being empty as well the permanent ache in her chest had all started, puzzling and baffling her even more.

That vision on the mountains had played on repeat in her mind, along with Jacob's kiss, constantly ever since she had asked him to kiss her. It was like her body was torturing her, like it had etched itself onto her eyelids and into her soul.

But this vision, had felt different, it had felt real, really real; like she was there, actually there. It made Bella pine for what she could never have and what she wanted more than anything. She wanted this to be her life. It was killing her that it would never ever be. That was the day she realised she did love Jacob, she was in love with him. The day her heart had to choose. The day she broke both her heart into tiny pieces, and his as well, by telling him it wasn't enough. The day she lied to her best friend, to save them both the heartache she was positive that the truth would cause them both. The day part of her had died as she walked away from the one person, she wanted to love, be in love with, build a future with and more than anything to live for, and grow old with.

Bella had consoled herself that Jacob would have a happy life, he would do all the things he was supposed to and have the life he was supposed to have, the life that had there been no supernatural magic, that she too, would have had. All the things she wanted for him, but hearing now, that Jacob might not survive to have it, tore Bella to shreds. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, she had done the right thing, for him, and her. Had she known she would have selfishly kept Jacob with her for however long they got, not set him free to find his imprint, to find true happiness, not let him tear himself apart when he imprinted with guilt for hurting her.

But what if this was Jake's ultimate sacrifice; like he had said he would that day on the mountain. What if he was taking himself out of the picture? Right now she needed Jake, she needed to see him, feel him, smell him, hear him, and touch him. She had to know he was okay, that was all that matter if anything happened to him while he was God knows where she would never ever forgive Edward for going behind her back yet again, and for then lying to her about it. She would never forgive herself, for the last thing she said to him, was that their love wasn't enough, that her last words to him were the biggest lie she could and would ever say. She wasn't enough for him, her love wasn't enough. Not his. She would forever hate herself for not being honest with him like he deserved and for being a coward; she should have told him the truth. But she knew he would never have accepted her reasons he would never have let her go. He would have torn himself to pieces instead when he did imprint, ad Bella fully believed he would imprint one day despite what Jacob said himself.

While all of this was racing through her mind, Bella felt warmth spread through her that she hadn't felt in ages. Not since she had left him.

"Jake? Jacob?"

Nothing, not a thing. She must have imagined it.

Slowly certain things began to seep through into Bella's consciousness; the hot arms cocooning her, the drops of rain falling intermittently on to her face and the muffled noises of a panicked, female's voice, an animal growling, and a deep, low voice, an edge to it, that Bella couldn't distinguish, calling her name. However it was the female voice that alarmed Bella. She was talking in a fast stressed manner, and much too quickly for Bella to understand anything she said. Bella could feel her limbs becoming heavier, her thoughts slowly seeping back to her.

_Where I am? Ah my head! Who is shrieking? Am I outside? Is it raining? Why is there an animal growling?_

Suddenly another male voice pulled Bella thundering back to reality, with just one word.

"Jake?" the voice whispered. Bella's eyes flickered erratically, in response.

"Bella?" The deep, low voice asked, hopefully.

"Bella?" The female asked, in a brittle thick voice; almost like they had been crying.

The growling stopped. "Bella?" a very deep, rough voice spoke.

"Bella!" A pleasant voice called, relieved but trembling.

"Urgh my head!" Bella groaned.

"Oh thank the spirits. How are you feeling?"

Realisation dawned on Bella, she knew that voice.

_Bella's Flashback_

_The pain seared down her leg, as Bella looked down at the slash in her pale, knobbly right knee, the rustic, metallic smell of blood hitting her and making her stomach roll with nausea at the smell of the fresh blood, as the deep crimson fluid, begun to seep through the mud and dirt. "Bells! Don't cry Bells! Daddy is coming. Please don't cry Bells", he urged, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. Bella stared up into the concerned face and the deep chestnut eyes of her best friend; four year old Jacob Black. A whimper escaped her, as her bottom lip trembled, as the tears begun to flow freely down her tiny face. A little hot hand wiped her tears from her sodden cheek, as his little body shuffled closer and he pulled hers into his._

_A deep, low voice called out to her as it got closer, "Now, now my little Kwah-uhl, what happened?" Jacob's dad hunched down, and looked at Bella's small face, and the two river tracks, her tears had left through the dirt and dust on her face, from playing with Jacob in the back yard. He inwardly chuckled as he saw the line of "pies" behind them, no doubt ready for him and Sarah to sample. He guessed that was what they had been coming to tell him, when Bella had fallen over._

_"My knee hurts" the small girl wailed. "It is… bl-bl-eeding. I want m-my D-D-Daddy, Beedy."_

_Bella and Jake had been running in to the house to show Billy, the pies they had made. They were both bubbling up with pride and excitement to show him their hard work. The two friends had, had so much fun, playing in the mud, and had giggled non-stop the whole time, as Bella always did, when she was with Jake. She loved these summers she spent in Forks, more than anything else. She loved being here with her father and the Blacks. But Jacob was the main reason she loved to come and hated to leave. He was always so funny, and caring and kind. He always made her feel happy and made her laugh._

_Jake wrapped one of his tiny arm wrapped around Bella's shoulders, and affectionately patted her shoulder. Billy gathered the fragile little girl up into his arms._

_"Ah hush, you have Beedy. You know I'd never let anything happen to you, after all are you not my little Kwah-uhl?", he asked as he placed a soft kiss to her wet cheek, and she sniffed a small giggle as he carried her into the house, with an anxious Jake running behind him._

_End of flashback_

She knew that voice. It belonged to Billy Black; the man as a child, she had thought of as her second father because during her childhood he had just as much a hand in her upbringing as Charlie had.

"Beedy" She exhaled, so low, Billy didn't hear her. But the three wolves looked at her questioningly. "Billy? What happened?"

Billy exhaled a large breathe of air, with relief.

"You passed out honey…" as he spoke, it all came crashing back to Bella.

"JACOB!" she cried out her voice breaking under the pain and strain as her mind was assaulted with the memories of what Billy had told her before she had fainted. "Billy tell me please"

"Sam can you and Seth deal with that other thing please. Leah can you make Bella a strong tea. Lots of sugar please it's good for shock. Thank you. Bella we need to have a frank discussion I think, don't you?"

Bella nodded, "what other thing Billy?" She asked looking between Sam and Billy, and seeing the furtive glances between the two men, who seemed to be having a silent conversation with their eyes. She realised she was trembling and shaking

.

"Bella I need you to stay and listen to what I have to say, it is fundamentally important to Jacob. He isn't…well I will explain it all to you, but while you were out, we had a phone call. It seems your…" he paused searching for the right word, "boyfriend rang. Demanding we return you or else he was going to come here to get you. He seems to be under the illusion we have taken you against your will. Seth explained that wasn't the case but he, well gave us the ultimatum and a time limit of thirty minutes. Bella's mouth had fallen open in surprise and shock, as Billy spoke. She felt Leah tense, before she lifted Bella of her lap, and placed her on the sofa, but not before Bella had felt the vibrations and the rumblings of a low growl coming from deep inside her chest. The growling was much louder, from behind and the sofa was currently shaking, Bella looked over her shoulder to see a furious looking Sam, holding on to the back of the sofa.

"He did what?" she bit out, she stared at Sam and then glanced back at Billy. Billy looked unsure how to continue, as he leant forward, "Bella please I need you to stay just a while longer it is important, I wouldn't ask if I didn't need you, if Jake didn't need you."

"Billy what exactly did Edward say?"

"He demanded we returned you" Come a fierce gruff voice, from behind her. She spun around to face Jacob's alpha.

"There is more isn't there? Sam tell me everything" she demanded.

"Why Swan? So you can run off back to him, yet again. Like every other fucking time. He clicks his fingers and you run to him. I thought you being here, I thought… You know what fuck you! Just go!" Snarled a very pissed Leah; her hands clenched into tight fists and the edges of her lean figure, blurred.

"LEAH!" Billy reprimanded the outspoken she wolf.

"What did he say Sam?" Bella asked, ignoring Leah's outburst, for the moment.

Leah growled furiously and stormed out the front door.

Sam looked at her evenly, he too, expected Bella to run as soon as he told her what was the Leech had said. Sam looked over her head, at his Chief, who nodded sadly, and looked down into his lap. The two men both hoped for a miracle, that by being here, she may have felt something, she may have realised there was more to this, than just pining for a AWOL friend, they both silently prayed to the spirits she would surprise them both and do the right thing, but so far her track record wasn't good where the Leech was concerned.

"He rang here, demanding we let you talk to him, which obviously you couldn't so he demanded to talk to Billy, but he was really concerned about you, so we explained he was busy, at which point he got extremely angry. He said he knew we had you, and obviously it was against your will, that we had ten minutes to return you. Seth managed to persuade him that we needed at least thirty minutes. He basically then threatened Seth, and told him if we didn't return you in that time he would come over the treaty line, and would" he paused like Billy had, "hurt anyone who stood in his way", he finished.

"Seth" Bella called the younger boy, who she owed so much too, "what was the exact phase he used?" she asked, without taking her eyes from Sam's who flinched, telling her, what she already suspected. He had lied.

"Erm Bella, Sam told you pretty much what he said…" Seth stuttered.

"Leah!" Bella shouted loudly knowing she would hear regardless of where she was. The door swung open immediately, cracking hard against the wall.

"Since you are the only one to tell me the truth around here, what was his exact words" she asked the hostile and quite frankly scary older girl, but Bella refused to be intimidate by her, today.

"Kill! He said he would Kill anyone who got in his way", Leah snarled, looking at her, with a hard stare.

"Billy, may I use your phone please? How much time do _we_ have Sam?" Bella asked, she looked at Billy, who nodded a confused look flickering across his face.

Sam looked at her mystified, "about six minutes to be exact." No one missed her use of "we", but didn't understand what it could mean.

Bella stepped across the room, shakily; both Sam and Seth stepped towards her with a hand out stretched to steady her. She waved them off, as she made her way to the phone, and dialled the familiar number.

"You have five minutes, dog, I suggest you get to the treaty line, or prepare to die", the low hiss of her fiancé came down the phone.

"Who do you think you are talking too Edward Cullen?" Bella demanded furiously.

"Bella! Oh Bella! Thank goodness I have been so worried love. You have to come home _now_. Right now. I am waiting for you at the treaty line. I'll see you soon my love. I am so relieved, I have been going out of my mind with worry. Are you hurt? Did they hurt you love?", he spoke so swiftly; Bella struggled to hear everything he was saying.

But Bella was beyond pissed off now. _First the invitation and now this?! Who the hell does he think he is? _Bella was so angry with how he had not only gone behind her back and lied to her, how he had treated and accused her friends and family and how he had then threatened them all. She had chosen to come here, and she had on numerous occasions argued how safe she was here, which Edward was supposed to have accepted graciously and backed off stating he trusted her judgement, but clearly he hadn't and didn't. He had lied yet again and fooled her once again. This was becoming a familiar pattern with Edward she realised. She could feel the anger building inside her, and she started to shake as the adrenaline began to coursed rapidly through her veins.

"NO!"

There was a stunned silence on the other end of the phone before an incredulous "I beg your pardon Bella?"

"I said no Edward. I am with family and friends. I chose to come here, to see them. I am here on my own free will and I will stay as long as I want too and I am welcome too, and YOU WILL NOT CROSS THE TREATY LINE and you will never ever threaten to break the treaty or hurt any one of my friends, family or any member of the pack or tribe again. Do you understand Edward?"

"Bella you don't understand…"

"No Edward, _you_ do not understand. I am spending long overdue time with my family and friends, here in La Push, I need to talk to Billy before the wedding." She lowered her voice, even though she knew it was pointless because the wolves would be able to hear, but it gave her the illusion of some privacy.

"You know I have a limited time to spend with them Edward, in three days we get married, and then I am saying goodbye to everyone for you so I think you could allow me this time, to hear stories from my childhood that I don't know, and I will never know, I want to photographs of my childhood, of when my parents were younger, when they were happy. I want to make memoires Edward to take with me".

Bella had no idea where that lie had come from, but her flashback had given her the idea and confidence she needed. It wasn't all a lie she realised as she said it that she did in fact have answers she needed to know before she got married.

"Bella I am not happy about this…"

"Well it is tough then Edward I have told you my reasons, and I think they are perfectly reasonable, I am fine. You can hear I am fine. Oh and do not wait on the treaty line go home. I will _ring_ you later. Goodbye", she slammed the receiver down, before she remembered it was Billy's, in her hast to hang up on him before he said anything else.

She turned around to see the four faces of Billy, Leah, Sam and Seth all staring at her, aghast.

She looked down, at her hands, uncomfortable with their staring and the attention focused on her. Billy cleared his throat louly, making everyone including Bella jump, before he asked Seth to make the tea Leah hadn't got around too, and thought maybe Leah may like to make some sandwiches for them all. Bella rushed to offer to make them, instead But all four of the Quileutes hushed her simultaneously as Leah barked at her to sit her scrawny arse down, before she fell down and started to move towards the kitchen, as Billy patted the sofa, next to him, indicating Bella to sit.

Sam voiced the need to check on Embry and Paul who were still patrolling human, but before he went out he turned and looked at Bella, with a different look in his eyes, he nodded at her, then turned towards the door, before spinning around again, with a look of incomprehension, "Bella can I ask a question?"

Bella froze with fear as to what he may want to know, she slowly nodded, unsurely.

"Who or what is Beedy?" he asked, Bella's cheek blazed brightly and her eyes swung to look at Billy, catching a look of surprise flash across his face, and Bella quickly dropped her eyes to the floor, in embarrassment. A deep loud laugh filled the house and made Bella's chest feel like it was going to explode with the ache she felt, for the similar laugh that owned part of her heart and soul.

Billy's _Flashback_

_Billy could hear his son, trying to console her, "Bells! Don't cry Bells! Daddy is coming. Please don't cry Bells", he urged, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. Bella looked up into the concerned face of his son, as her bottom lip trembled, as the tears begun to flow freely down her tiny face. A little hot hand wiped her tears from her sodden cheek, as his little body shuffled closer and his tiny caring son pulled her body into his._

_ "Now, now my little Kwah-uhl, what happened?" Billy hunched down, and looked at her small face. "My knee hurts" the small girl wailed. "It is… bl-bl-eeding. I want m-my D-D-Daddy, Beedy."_

_Beedy was the name Bella had taken to calling Billy as she hadn't been able to pronounce Billy when she had started to talk and he had became Belee but as time had gone on, and the more time she spent with the Blacks, during her summers in Forks, Bella would often forget or get confuse and call him Daddy, especially when the twins and Jake called him Daddy. Somehow as Bella had grown he had become Beedy"; the three adults concurred it to be a blend of Billy and daddy. The name thankfully didn't upset Charlie, who was eternally grateful for the Blacks, for all their help, and the way they had opened their home and family, to him and his small daughter. _

_However her name for him filled Billy Black's heart with unsaturated joy and love. As far as he and Sarah were concerned, this tiny but feisty child was their fourth child, and their much loved third daughter. She was part of their family, and they missed her dearly when she left to go back to her Mother's at the end of the holidays. Jacob especially missed her, as the two of them, had grown, and the more time they spent together, Jacob's enthralment in Billy's best friend's spirited daughter only amplified. Billy studied his son carefully, observing his only son's complete adoration for her as he followed her around like a shadow, always there, in the background, patiently waiting for Bella even though the twins would tease him mercilessly for it. _

_Nevertheless both Billy and Sarah, believed this connection it to be more than the "new toy" syndrome, as Charlie, always called it, stating "give it a few days and she will bore him, and he will be back to causing mischief again". But Jacob had never once got bored of Bella. He adored her and was fascinated by everything about her, always trying to get her attention, or to persuade her to play with him. However Bella had always been a very mature child, and had never been very interested in childish things instead taking an interest in helping Sarah, especially with the cooking and loved making pies. Jake often did this, since the twins always played together and being over three and half years older than him, weren't interested in their little brother._

_Billy smiled down at the two small children, remembering how not that long ago Bella had told Jake she was going to show him how to make pies in the yard. His son's eyes had lit up at the mention of food, since he had a very healthy appetite even for a small child, but his face positively glowed, that Bella actually wanted to play with him, and Bella had giggled at Jake's excited face, knowing he loved to eat. _

_Billy looked down at his son, whose arm was wrapped securely around Bella's shoulders, and was affectionately patting her shoulder, and while he attempted to try and stop her from crying. Billy's heart swelled as he looked at his son's crushed face, as he tried to not show how upset he was, that Bella was hurt and crying. Billy gathered the fragile little girl up into his arms._

_"Ah hush, you have Beedy. You know I'd never let anything happen to you, after all are you not my little Kwah-uhl?", he asked as he placed a soft kiss to her wet cheek, and she sniffed a small giggle as he carried her into the house, with an anxious Jake running behind him._

_End of flashback_

_"_You remember my little Kwah-uhl?"

Bella nodded timidly. "Come give ya old Beedy a hug. Oh how he has missed you. We have much to talk about, Kwah-uhl", as Billy held his arms out, as Bella stepped forward, the three wolves all looked at them, and then at each other in confusion.

Seth leaned into his sister, as Sam shrugged and left. "Why is Billy calling Bella his little three Lee?" expecting her to know, but she shrugged, the same as Sam had. Seth looked at her studying the two people wrapped in a very loving embrace. Seth peered up at them as well recognising the familiar embrace, as one he had seen his father and Lee give each other, but there was more to this hug, this was the same one, his dad had used right before she had gone to meet Sam, unknowing he was about to break her heart. Seth tried to push the lump that was currently stuck in his throat as he looked at Billy and Bella, suddenly wary of what this embrace meant for Bella, and if she was going to suffer the same pain and confusion Leah had, when she too, had not been privy to the Tribe's secrets.


	7. Chapter 7

**Part Six**

**_Falling to pieces_**

Bella's head was still swimming from everything that had happened in the last hour or so. Sam had left to find Paul and Embry, but because he didn't trust Edward, and he firmly believed Edward may attempt to cross over the treaty line despite Bella's phone call, he had ordered all the wolves to be patrol, and be on full alert, while Bella was on their lands. Paul and Embry having just finished were sent to guard the imprints back at Sam's. Seth and Leah were patrolling around the Blacks' house. Leah had stressed to both Bella and Billy that they would be far enough that they wouldn't hear anything, unless either of the humans shouted, so they would have privacy to talk but without leaving them unprotected. Bella had thought it all unnecessary, but realising the wolves, were on hyper alert after their pack, families, and home had been threatened it made the wolves feel useful to be active and doing what they were born to do, protect their tribe and their Chief so she didn't say anything, however she would be giving Edward a piece of her mind, later.

Billy had decided after everything that had occurred since Bella's unexpected visit that it was time she was told everything, well as much as she could be told. However it frustrated him deeply, that he couldn't tell her the one thing he wanted to, no needed to tell her. The one thing she needed to know. She had to know about the imprint. She had to know now. She had to know before she got married and was changed into a vampire, for all of eternity. Forever was a long time to live out a teenage error.

Except the only one who could tell Bella about the imprint was Jacob. Billy had to think of a way to either get him home. Now. However even if he could somehow manage to get Jacob to listen long enough, and come home, there was a very good chance he wouldn't make it back in time before the wedding, which was taking place in less than three days. Billy decided his best chance was to try and find a way for Bella to postpone the wedding at least until Jake was home.

Billy wasn't beyond doing anything if it meant he could get Bella to change her mind. He loved Bella like a daughter and wanted his only son home, safe and alive. He had to get them back on to their true life path, together and happy and he was determined he would do it. Both their lives depended on it. He was resolved he would do and say whatever it took to make Bella change her mind before she became a vampire, hell before she even married the wrong man, even if it meant sharing some of the tribe's secrets or even hinting at the imprint.

After all as Jacob's imprint, Bella was as good as part of the tribe and the pack. Not to mention as the future Alpha and chieftain of the tribe's imprint, her future was imperative to both the tribe and the pack. Jacob had to survive and he could only do that if Bella accepted the imprint.

As his future mate and hopefully, one day his wife, and mother to the future generations' alphas and chiefs of the tribe, she should be able to know the tribe's secrets, regardless what the other elders believed or that they felt she should be kept in the dark, and treated as an outsider, until her alliance was solely with the tribe, until she was made a true imprint.

Yet today's events had helped Billy decide to use his right as chieftain to overrule all the procedures, the Elders had put in place for Bella's induction. _To hell with it, I shall let the spirits decide what happens from now on._

His first step would be to try and fill Bella in on some of the missing memories he was adamant she had.

"Now Bella, I'm going to tell you some things and I am going to ask you some questions and I really need you to answer them honestly. Please it is important that you are honest I know that you may feel like there isn't anyone who you can talk too that is in the know and neutral but right now, I am. In this moment I am here for you, just you. I am not Jacob's father, nor am I an elder of a pack of spirit warriors, who against the vampires, I am not chief of the tribe. I am just your Beedy, the same one, who would pick you and soothe your cuts and bruises. The same one you could talk to about anything that was bothering you. You know Sarah and I were always there for you as you were growing up, that never changed. I am still here for you, and so is Sarah, even though we can't see her, she is always listening. That I know. Okay?" He looked at her earnestly as he spoke, never dropping his intense and penetrating gaze from hers, until it was Bella who dipped her head. Bella nodded, unsure what he could possible want to ask her or tell her, that he was so serious about.

Billy noticed her uncertainty and pressed his point further, it was vital he got through to her, and he needed to understand her reasons for doing what she was doing, even though he was sure she was in love with Jacob, more in love with Jacob then she was with the vampire, he was also sure she could feel the imprint with Jacob so far away but he also needed her to understand exactly what she was doing, not just what she thought she was giving up, but the true extent of what she was going to be giving up. He needed her to see the much bigger picture.

"Now Bella, I look at you like a daughter, you know that, don't you Kwah-uhl? You know both my Sarah and I, always thought of you as our third daughter and fourth child don't you? I still remember you as a toddler, barely talking, being all excited to meet the new baby." He chuckled huskily, "you was most disappointed when you found out that Jacob was a boy," The old man, let out another deep husky chuckle as his face spread into a wide smile, so similar to his son's.

Billy was trying to ease her into the deeper conversations, but he also wanted to try and jog her memory and her to recall her past here in Folks. He had to make her relax so she didn't freak out as she was known to do or worse rebel against him, and not listen to anything he had to tell her. He knew these memories she would have been too small to remember, but she needed to have them, regardless which path she chose. "You were so happy, when Sarah told you, that it meant you would always be our baby girl. You was clapping and smiling and giggling. Then you toddled right up to him, in your dad's arms and planted a smacker of a kiss on his little forehead, all the while gently patting him on his mass of back hair, and whispered "lub Ob", which made Sarah, nearly burst into yet more tears." He smiled fondly at the memory of his late wife.

"You took to him, like a duck to water, always fussing over him, even more than his big sisters. Always willing to help with him, and as soon as he could walk he would follow you and his momma around." Bella smiled up at the old man, fondly.

"You two always had a bond, right from that first meeting Bella. Look I  
know things have changed, and things are different now but don't give up on us Blacks, I will always be here for you as a second father, regardless. And I know Jacob will also be there for you. He is hurting right now, and more than anything he is scared he has lost you, even more so that he has lost his best friend for good, he knows once you're turned... Look you two have so much history, too much just to throw it away Bella, hell I know how stubborn he is, you both are, and it will kill you both if someone doesn't make you both see sense! But you're family, and families look out for one another, right? Look what this old man is jabbering on trying to say  
is you can tell me anything, things that maybe you can't tell Charlie or ask for a father's opinion on, for obvious reasons. I won't ever tell a soul, Bella you have my word", he leaned in conspiratorially, "after all I never told a soul you used to tell me how you were going to marry Jake, did I?" he chuckled as he winked at her. Bella felt her cheeks spasm with warmth as her mouth dropped open. "Did I…?" Billy nodded, "most insisted you were on it too; told me it so matter of factly. The first time it was just after you cut your knee that summer you were six, Jacob had been so worried, he refused to leave you, until he knew you was okay, and had stopped crying and you were laughing and smiling again. When he ran to get you an ice lolly, you leaned in and whispered in my ear, and said "I'm gonna marry my Jake, when we are all grown up just like you and mummy Ahra not like my Mummy and Daddy." Billy remembered the rest of her speech that day as it flashed across his mind as if it was merely hours ago, as he looked at the now teenage Bella as she blushed, he didn't to embarrass her further so he kept it to himself, smiling as he remembered her heartfelt declaration, "We gonna get married and live happy ever after, forever and ever. We gonna get married on da 'each and I gonna wear a pweety dress just for my Jake. I love him Beedy he is my bestest friend in the whole wide world".

Bella smiled softly as she remembered it now, as clear as day. "Yeah, I  
always wanted it too last, you know, like yours and Sarah's. In always said if I got married it would be the real thing. Just once, ya' know. That was the year; Renee started to tell me she got married too quickly, too young. I was convinced…" her voice broke off, as the memories she had buried long ago blazed across her mind.

"I never thought I would get married and if I did…"

"It would be with Jacob, and not at eighteen?" He asked gently.

Bella merely nodded. "I forgot about that. I forgot so much Billy. It's like half my life just disappeared, overnight. Why did I block out all my happy memories from here? Why did I block you and Jake out? It doesn't make any sense". Taking a huge sigh, Bella slumped back into the settee, her eyebrows bunched together in frustration and confusion.

Billy had puzzled over this, as had Charlie and Jacob, in fact the three of them, had pondered it a few times, they had even asked Sue and Harry's point of view once, but none of them could come up with the answer. They had only come to the conclusion that Bella had struggled with the loss of her Gran and Sarah, so close together, and having to leave her family in Forks, every summer, was too much for her, and self preservation kicked in. She didn't want to open herself up to more hurt, or abandonment further so built a wall around herself. But if Bella had no idea then Billy concluded no one would ever understand what happened to make Bella suddenly shut herself off from those she loved, and who loved her so completely.

"Bella, when your mum left here, was you ever told why Charlie never followed?"

Bella look startled at his question, shaking her head, she looked down at her hands, and picked at the hem of her top.

"Mum always said he was married to his job" she mumbled quietly, and almost indistinguishably. Billy felt his anger rise, and tried to quench it quickly.

"No, he wanted too, more than anything, you and your mum meant the world to him. He would have worked anywhere and as anything just to be with you both. I think before we talk about you I need to tell you about your parents, time we laid some ghosts down to rest, don't you think."

So Billy told her about her grandparents, her father's parents that she had no memory of, how unwell they both were, how Charlie had to stay here to look after them, and when they both had passed away, it was too late to fix things with Renee. He told her how her parents had met, how it had been the sweep you off your feet, quick, all consuming romance, just like she had felt about Edward, which confused her. If they felt that strongly why hadn't it worked out? He told her about how her father suffered after her mother took her away, and how long it took to build himself back up, how he would have done anything for her, how he had never chosen anything over her, and he never would, how Charlie wanted her to be happy, that was why he had never fought harder for her. Slowly Bella begun to cry as all her deep rooted beliefs about her childhood began to crumble around her.

"I thought…" "Hush child, it doesn't matter now, what you thought, at least you understand your old man, a bit better. He never ever let you go, he would do anything for you, he wants to see you happy, as I do, and whatever or whoever makes you happy, truly happy has our blessing, but please Bella be honest with yourself."

"You know don't you?" she whispered so softly Billy had to lean in, and even then he wasn't sure he had heard her correctly.

"Know?"

Bella nodded. "Billy, how come my parents if they felt like that, really felt that strongly, why didn't it work? How come your marriage with Sarah and Harry and Sue's lasted? Wasn't it the same? Doesn't all consuming love last?"

"Oh they really did feel like that believe me!" he gave a deep chuckle. "They were very much in love Bella. But there were lots of reasons, and I don't want to give you an old man's point of view…"

"No Billy I need to know I need to understand I don't really have much experiences with relationships, mine included. Mum went from relationship to relationship once I hit my teens, and dad, well I don't think he has ever looked at another woman after mum. My Gran was divorced and brought mum up alone, and I never met my dad's parents, that I remember. I have no idea or concept of what is normal. The only two marriages I know that have worked are yours and the Clearwaters. I am about to marry someone and change who I am completely forever, and I… I… have no one to talk too." She mumbled the last part.

"No," Billy spoke firmly, and lifted her chin with his thumb and finger so he could look her directly in the eye, knowing how much she hated direct eye contact. "You have me, my little Kwah-uhl, you also have your father, and I know you can't tell him about the supernatural parts but you can tell me, and you can tell him the other parts, don't block him out Bella. He misses you, you don't have long with him, give him that please."

Bella broke down at the kindness in his speech but also at the seriousness, and the reminder of what was happening in a few weeks time, let alone the wedding in three days.

"Okay let's do this in parts. Love comes in many different shapes and sizes Bella. None of them are right and wrong, but not all love comes at you like a sledge hammer, taking over every breath and thought you have. Sometimes, the right love grows, like a flower. I knew Sarah was the one, from the first moment I saw her." The look on Billy's face, took Bella's breathe away. He looked years younger, and had a look she had seen before but couldn't place where. He smiled at Bella, his face glowing with memories and love.

"She was a few years or so younger than me, but when I first saw her, she was about six, and I was about nine or ten. She was playing with Sue and my younger sisters, and she was laughing, her whole face was lit up, and she just glowed, just radiating happiness ya'know and she just took my breath away." Bella sucked in a gasp of air, in shock. "Like Jake" she exhaled slowly. Billy nodded, "He reminds me so much of her, he has her smile, her sunny nature and happy go lucky personality." He smiled sadly.

Bella reached across and took his hand, "I miss them both too, Jake will come home soon Billy. He can't stay away from you and his home forever". Billy looked at her trying to mask his heartbreak, so she didn't realise that his only son, handsome, loyal, loving child, may never return to either of them.

He cleared his throat loudly, trying to move the lump in his throat, "I knew there and then she was the girl for me, I knew I was going to marry her, hell I was ready to pledge my love for her right there and then in the sand, but my Mom well she was a wise lady she just knew she could just tell, she had a gift, like my Sarah, well she sat me down and told me I had to take it slowly, otherwise I would scare Sarah off. So I did, I got to know her slowly, I became her friend, I looked after her, out for her, became like a big brother I guess, as we grew. As time went by my feelings never altered, they only got stronger, so once she reached sixteen, I asked her father's permission to ask her on a date, and we never looked back. She was my best friend, Bella that is why we worked. She was my everything I lived and breathed for her, like your dad did Renee, but she was also my best friend. Not all love hits sweeps you off your feet, sometimes it takes a while for you to realise that this is love, but it doesn't make it any less magical. Sarah took a little while, to realise. Her love grew," he chuckled, "it was her that told me about how real true love grows like a flower. It is much too soppy an allegory for my liking, but it is true. Sometimes love creeps up on you. Harry and Charlie were and still are my best friends, but well Sarah, she knew me better than I knew myself, and I her. We could communicate just by looks, I could tell her mood, just by feeling it ya' know" He let out a deep laugh, "you probably think I am an old fool, Bella…" Bella jumped in quickly, interrupting, "No, No, I don't. I get it. More than you know".

"You and Edward?" he asked, he knew it wasn't but he wanted her to open up to him herself, and not have words put in her mouth by him.

"No", she shook her head, briskly. "Me and…Ja-Ja-Jake." Her voice cracking on his name, "he… I…"

"Go on Bella; tell me please it may help to get everything out in the open, Sarah always said talking helps you to think, I still do it now, I still tell her everything, run everything by her". He saw talking about Sarah, seemed to be helping Bella, he had a feeling she had never opened up to anyone about her, or just how important Sarah had been to Bella, growing up, only now was Billy himself, seeing the impact his wife had, had on his best friend's daughter, she had always loved Sarah, Billy had thought it was a mere idolisation, but he wondered if Sarah had been the mother figure Bella had secretly craved, and that was why she never left her side when she was here in the Summers. Sarah and Jacob had both made a deep bond with the small brunette before him, it was only now apparent to him, how much Bella had lost, over the years.

She nodded solemnly, taking a deep breath of air, for courage, pulling it deep down inside her, relishing the feeling as it filled her lungs.

Then she opened her mouth and everything poured out of her.

"He knows me, better than I know myself, he can read me, doesn't matter how well I try and hide he just knows, I don't know how, if it's a look, a sigh, even over the phone, he just knows. It's like he can feel me, like he knows me on the inside, out. He just…"

"Since he changed or before Bella?" Billy interrupted her. He had to know if it was the imprint or if like he and Sarah had always believed their bond, ran much deeper, from that very first meeting as babies.

"Before, but even more now, like it has grown, like it was magnified when he changed." She gave a wry laugh, "at first I thought…" she paused and stared ahead, not moving or blinking.

"Bella what did you think?"

"It's dumb but at first I thought we were just close ya' know. We just had a strong bond as friends, and I was still pretty messed up over Edward, but he just had a knack at making me feel better. It was like he reached inside and soothed the pain away as he put me back together. He saved me Billy." She looked at the older man, square on, as he nodded knowingly, "but then he changed and he wouldn't see me, I thought my world was crumbling again, I felt so lost, more than before. Then he tried to make it all okay again, and it was, and it felt even more. You know?! Just being with him, I felt happy, like he rubbed off on me, he was always so sunny and happy, and he kept me warm. I don't mean like literally, he just warmed me up inside. It didn't hurt so much when he was around. When Edward l-l-eft it was like a massive hole was ripped through me. Jake held me together. I didn't feel it so much. Then when I went to Italy, I felt empty and cold. It was like I wasn't whole without Jake, even after we came back. When he came to warn us about the treaty I could feel his pain. It's like we're the same person sometimes, like his pain is mine, and his joy is mine. I vowed I would make him smile again, that day Billy I wanted my last memory of Jake to be happy. When he told me about imprinting I panicked, I thought he was going to tell me he had imprinted on me." The wise old man kept his face neutral as he listened intently to Bella, as she begun talking he could see she needed to get it out, she needed this release and was finally able to let go of all these pent up thoughts and feelings and emotions, so he let her talk without saying anything, but nodding and making the right noises, in the right places.

"But then he said he hadn't and I was devastated," she laughed wryly again. "Ironic hey! There I was not wanting him to tell me he hadn't got some claim on me and complicate everything we had, not to mention the whole me and Edward thing and the moment I knew he hadn't, I was devastated. Actually totally distraught that he hadn't. How is that even possible? Not just a little sad, but really absolutely shattered. I really did think that it would have explained everything, and I didn't realise I loved Jacob then so I couldn't understand why I felt the way I did. I should have been happy knowing Jake's imprint was out there still and she would make everything okay for him again. She could make him happy like I couldn't, but I was, I am jealous, even know if I'm honest and I know it makes me a bitch to be jealous after everything I have done to him, but I am. I am so jealous; that someone else will get to be Jake's everything. I will just be some girl he once knew, the one he thought he loved. While she will be the one he truly loves more than anyone or anything else, the one who he will wake up with everyday, and get to spend every day of his life with, to have children with, and to have a life with." Bella was sobbing giant, heartbreaking tears, her body shaking under the weight of the revelations she had disclosed to Billy, the first person she had actually ever opened up too and bared her soul too.

"You really are in love him aren't you? Truly beyond all reason and doubt, you are in love with him aren't you Bella?" A soft velvet voice, asked from behind Bella. But she didn't turn around to look at Leah, she couldn't say it outloud, she couldn't admit it to anyone, especially not one Jake could see the thoughts of, what good would that do to either of them.

"What I don't understand is why did you push him away Swan? If you love him so much why? I just don't get it. We all know you love him, hell it is obvious, to everyone but you! We all know yet you're still lying to yourself, you won't even admit to yourself just how much you love him, yet when he begged you, to stay to be with him you broke his heart and walked away." Leah's voice softly carried from the doorway she had stepped through, after listening to Bella's admission. Her voice was fierce but there was no venom in it, or malice, which surprised Bella. Bella peered up at the taller girl, through her wet lashes, clenching her fist tightly, as Leah pushed the vision of Jacob lying on the bed, broken, and crying as she broke his heart, all over again.

"I do love him I love him more than anyone, or anything. I did it for him-", Leah laughed sarcastically at her, "Hell Swan, I would hate to see you trying to hurt someone then!" Billy gave the beautiful Quileute woman a frown and an angry shake of the head. He had asked Leah to hang around because he had a feeling he would need her here to help with the imprint doubts, but he was now worrying, it was going to back fire on him.

"Leah, you know as well as I do, that I. AM. NOT. JACOB'S. IMPRINT. I. AM. NOT. THE. ONE. FOR. HIM. THERE. IS. SOMEONE. OUT. THERE. FOR. HIM." She bit out, before she sagged as the words she had spat at Leah, took hold of her.

"He deserves better. He deserves to find his imprint and to be happy. He thinks he loves me, but he won't, and he will just feel guilty for hurting me, and Leah you should understand better than anyone, I can't go through that again, this" she waved her arms around her agitatedly, "this, is too hard, and this is before… I can't. I can't do this to either of us, and he will thank me one day for setting him free, for not messing up his life. I need to not be here, to let him free, I need to be something else. I can't be who he wants or needs. But don't for one second, ever think Leah Clearwater, that you know me, or what I think or feel especially when it comes to Jacob Black! You may have an insight into his head, so you have a better grasp of his thoughts and feelings then I do, but don't ever think that day I walked away from him, was easy for me. It broke my heart to walk away from him, even right now every instinct in me is telling me to run to him, to tell him the truth but I can't. I need to go." Bella dashed out the Black's house, as tears streamed down her cheeks as she run towards her truck for a second time as her heart broke all over again, as she thought of Jake crying breaking his heart as her words hit him, over and over again.

"BELLA! WAIT!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Part Seven-**  
_**Scars**_

Bella ran as fast as her trembling legs would carry her towards her truck, Billy's voice echoing in her wake as Leah's words crashed over and over in her mind, like angry waves smashing against the cliffs. Her chest ached with exertion, as she collapsed against the Truck's door. Failing and fumbling clumsily for her keys, as panic raced up her spine, she needed to get out of here. _Where the hell are my keys?_ Her breathing was laboured, and her heart galloped uncontrollably in her ribcage as she looked up blind with panic. Spotting them still in the ignition, she let out the breath she hadn't realised she was holding and exhaled with relief. Yanked the driver's door open, quickly hauling herself e driver's seat as a deep tanned, toned arm shot past her just as Bella went to turn the key, snatching them before her fingers had even acknowledged they were gone.

Grabbing for the key Bella made contact with only air, she glanced down, "What the…" she exclaimed before squealing as she caught someone in her peripheral vision, and she realised she was no longer alone, letting out a long infuriated sigh, as she turned her head, only to be caught in an angry staring contest with Leah, who was glaring at her through the cab window.

"Get out the car, Bella!" the she wolf grinded at her. Bella wiped her cheeks furiously, as she refused to drop Leah's glare.

"No. Give me my keys. Now." she spat out, angrily.

"No, can do. Billy hasn't finished talking to you" she stared straight at Bella, arching an eyebrow at the petite girl, daring her to argue with her further. Bella slammed her body back into the seat, huffing as she did so, and crossed her arms, firmly across her chest, staring straight ahead, which unfortunately meant she was looking at the Black's house, where Billy had rolled himself to the door way and was watching them both intently. Bella sighed dejectedly, if Billy wasn't watching it would have made keeping herself angry a hell of a lot easier, but the mere sight of him sat there looking sad, alone, and resigned, made Bella's anger subside and her heart squeeze. She owed it to Billy to listen to him, and she owed it to Jacob to make sure his father was at least happy and take care of, while she could.

Leah leaned in making Bella start, the sight of Billy had distracted her, and made her forgot Leah was there.

"Listen to him. Give him that. You owe it to him, and Jacob, Charlie, hell even yourself," she hissed. Bella turned her head slanting her eyes and curling her lip at Leah, she snapped "Don't tell me what to do Leah, and don't think you can intimidate me either, you don't scare me". This statement only seemed to annoy the she wolf more, as the cab begin to shake gently under her vibrations.

"This isn't about me Swan. It… look I'm…" she growled menacingly, but towards the ground before she thumped the side of Bella's truck, making Bella jump and gasp. "Look I'm… grrr… I'm sorry okay!" she spat out vehemently, "I am…sorry. I was out of line. I shouldn't have gone off like that". Bella's mouth fell open in surprise at Leah's apology, but quickly closed it, realising how hard it must have been for her to say it, Bella decided the best thing to do was to simply ignore it, at least while it was raw for her.

"Are you gonna give me a hand down? I don't fancy landing on my face or arse." Bella asked quietly, but with no anger left in her voice. Leah looked up at Bella surprised. She expected the girl to have given her a hard time or at least gloated Leah had admitted she was in the wrong.

One side of Leah's mouth turned up into a wayward smile, against the rest of her stoic face, however she stepped away from Bella and lifted the hand which wasn't incarcerating Bella's keys. Bella gave her own version of a half smile, and grabbed Leah's hand, before leaping down onto the dust and dirt.

"Come on Clearwater, let's go get a cup of coffee. I hate tea" she whispered conspiratorially, giving Leah's hand a squeeze as she let it go.

The older girl was surprised at Bella's reaction, and was secretly a little impressed with her. Leah had seen the softening towards Jacob's imprint from the rest of the pack in their shared mind link, bar Leah and Paul of course; they had stayed firmly on the 'we hate the Leech lover' side, except today was seriously beginning to mess with Leah. She had always tried to stay as far away from all the imprints, especially Bella, unless she had absolutely had to. However today had she had seen a different side to Bella, she could actually see just how conflicted and torn Bella was over her feelings and to do the right thing, even though she was unknowingly doing the worst thing possible for all of them. _Damn Jacob and Bella for their stupid stubbornness, always trying to do the right thing for the other, and all these stupid poxy rules._

"Bella I shouldn't have butted in. I was…", Bella stopped and turned to face Leah, tilting her head skywards, as they were still close from Leah helping her out of the truck.

"Just looking out for Jacob, I know. I get it. I'm not cross at you" Leah looked at her sceptically, Bella gave a timid smile, "I was, but I understand why. Actually I'm kinda happy about it" she sniffed a laugh "it's good to know someone like you has his back. He needs more people like you. You're a good sister to him, a real sister. I know how it looks. Hell I know how I've treated him, I never ever meant to hurt him, Leah. I don't expect you to believe me. But it's true. I never meant to put any of you in danger either. I never wanted or expected any of you to protect me, I don't know why you did, but I am grateful and you all mean so much to me. But Jake...Jake means the world to me and he always will", Bella cleared her throat with a cough, trying to cover up her voice breaking slightly, and attempting to pause the tears which were threatening to fall. "Jake is going to need you and Seth too. I know I have no right to ask you for anything, but _please look after them both_ for me, Leah." Bella emphasised the both, she knew Leah would look after Seth, but she needed Leah to know he meant a lot to Bella as well. "I love Jake, he is… He is _so very_ important to me. I don't think even now I could put into words what exactly he means to me. And as for Seth I love him like a little brother. I know you will regardless of me asking but maybe one day you could tell them both…" Bella coughed again, and looked away into the trees outlining Billy's, "I did care ya' know", the sentiment was only a ghost of a whisper even to Leah's supernatural hearing, and it was only a pinprick of all the things Bella wanted to say to Leah about both boys, but especially Jake. All the things she wanted him to know but would never get the chance to tell him. Leah heard what Bella said but also what she hadn't, making Leah's carefully imprisoned heart, give a heavy thump, at the intensity and emotion wavering of the small human girl in front of her.

Nodding silently Leah squeezed Bella's hand in just the briefest of contacts, letting her know she heard but that she would also do it, if she got the chance with Jacob, hopefully she wouldn't need to tell either of her 'brothers'. Although Seth was her biological brother, and her pack brother, as much as Jacob rubbed Leah up the wrong way the majority of the time, Leah had warmed to him, and felt oddly protective of him. She understood Jacob, his pain, his need to be wanted on his own qualities he could offer Bella and not because of the imprint. She believed he would make a good Alpha one day, if he got the chance, and only if his head wasn't plagued by the demons that were Bella and her future.

It annoyed Leah greatly that imprinting had fucked someone else's life up again. Except for Leah, it ran much deeper than that. She couldn't understand how Bella had refused the imprint without knowing about it, or if that was how she had managed to rejected it and how Jake had managed to maintain the boundaries of being just her friend, despite his genuine feelings and love for her.

Leah knew how he had felt before he phased, after all she had been inside his head, seen his thoughts and his memories, as well as felt his emotions and feelings. It had pissed her off infinitely and bewildered her that both of Bella and Jake had managed to be just friends. So why the hell hadn't Sam done that? Why hadn't Emily fought it? Why couldn't they have both been friends? These thoughts replayed through Leah's head constantly while she was human; cutting, fracturing and burrowing through her thoughts and memories, exposing and revealing all the hidden doubts and insecurities she had about her relationship with Sam, during the times she had believed they were happy and very much in love, back when she was so absolutely sure of his love for her, that she had agreed to be his wife at only nineteen. Then the shit had hit the fan, and her world had exploded. Similar to how she was sure Jacob and Bella's world was going too soon.

After everything Leah had witnessed today she could see finally see that Sam had been honest with her and Emily all along; denying the imprint was impossible, the bond was too strong to fight. Leah could see it truly was unbreakable. Instead by fighting it, Jake had left himself and Bella in an even bigger cluster-fuck of a love triangle, than the one Leah had found herself in, with Sam and Emily. This one had grim ramifications for everyone involved it wouldn't just echo out into the pack, but it would seriously affect everyone who loved the two teenagers, but so many more besides. Instead of the two imprints being loved up like they should be like Sam and Emily, and the other imprint couples, Bella was intent on marrying someone Leah, the pack, and even Billy was sure she was no longer _in_ love with, but she was going to exchange up her humanity for immortality and all so she wouldn't have to experience the heartbreak of being abandoned by the boy she was secretly in love with, or watch him fall in love with someone else and build a life with them when the spirits bestowed him with his soul mate, his 'the One', that Bella believed was out there, somewhere waiting for him; she was trying to avoid suffering the same gut wrenching pain that Leah had endured and knew all too well.

And as for Jacob, well Jake was somewhere in the middle of fucking nowhere alone and dying; some God awful painful death, which may or may not also kill the girl in front of her, and if didn't kill her, it would leave her so irrevocably altered she would never be the same, and her forever was going to be a lot longer, than anyone else that may have been in her position. Forever was a long time to live in that torture and with someone you didn't love, truly love.

Having all these thoughts crashing, banging and steaming through her head, made Leah's brain thump ironically, considering werewolves couldn't get headaches. _Shame they couldn't bypass heartbreak too_, she thought wryly. Leah finally felt a small part of her bitterness towards Sam and Emily fade away.

It still hurt like fucking hell, and she knew it would for a long time to come. The pain, suffering as well as the damage and scars the whole experience had left behind, were just part of who Leah was now. She doubted she would ever be the girl she had been not so long ago. Nor could she see herself ever falling in love with someone else, someone who wasn't Sam. Honestly she couldn't see herself ever allowing her guard to drop to ever let anyone else in again, she even managed to keep the rest of the pack out somewhat, which only pissed off Sam more. No Emily may have the physical scars from Sam, but it was Leah who had been ripped to shreds by the two of them. These scars run deeper than skin and bone they ran through her soul, her heart and her every thought.

But she knew now, that Sam had loved her with his whole heart, as Emily had loved her like a sister. None of that had been falsified and it was this realisation which helped seal one tiny fissure in her shattered heart, as did the undeniable proof that the imprint really was too strong to fight, and as much as she couldn't stand the hurt and pain Sam and Emily had caused her, she would never ever wish for Sam to have experienced what Jake was going through right now, or for Emily to have been in Bella's place, especially when they could have both suffered such excruciating pain if not a far worse fate by fighting it. One that could still very much happen to Jake and Bella, she thought sadly.

_Why had the spirits let it get this far? It didn't make any sense at all._

"Bella wait."

Bella's forehead furrowed into a deep frown, as a wide crevice appeared between her eyebrows.

"Leah?" Bella looked up at her inquisitively.

"I need to say something…" clearing her throat and coughing into her hand, she spoke quietly but firmly, "It's hard so I need you to let me get it out, all out, before you interrupt, like you have a habit of doing?" Even stressed, and worried for the girl, Leah couldn't stop the bitchiness that echoed in her last comment. Leah was so used to being snarky and bitchy it was like a second skin now. In truth it was her mask, when she felt at her most vulnerable, she was at her worst.

Bella's flinched as the words hit her, but didn't let it show just how much Leah's tone had hurt her, much more than the words themselves.

Sucking a substantial deep breathe in, sucking up through her nostrils, making the, flare, and pulling it right down to her toes before exhaling slowly out through her mouth, as a growl rumbled from her chest, she stamped her foot agitatedly.

"ARGH!" she roared making Bella visibly jump with fright, and Billy to look concerned, "Bella love, come in to the house, let Leah calm down a little", worry thick in his voice.

Leah spun around and set her angry glare on Billy, Bella felt for the older man, having experienced the heat of it many times, including only moments before.

"I'm okay Billy we're coming in for a coffee, if that is okay with you?" Billy's face lit up at the knowledge Bella was coming back inside, he hadn't wanted to get his hopes up when he saw Leah helping her out of the truck.

"I'll put the kettle on girls! Leah you okay?"

Leah nodded, "We will be in, in a few minutes Billy. I just need to tell Bella something. Will you make the drinks if we not in straight away? Two coffees no sugars please Billy".

Billy nodded and wheeled his self back inside his small house, humming quietly.

Bella waited patiently as Leah paced back and forth in front of her, agitatedly.

"Leah, what is it just say it?"


	9. Chapter 9

Hi my fellow wolf lovers, Thank you so much for continuing to read my story, it has definitely turned out a lot longer than I intended but I am so grateful for every one of you who has stayed with me, especially with all the mistakes, typos and just plain bad writing but hopefully you will like this chapter... I know lots of people keep asking why hasn't anyone told Bella:- the reason behind this is because only the wolf can tell the imprintee, so the other wolves are bound to keep it secret until then (i cant remember where this idea come from... whether it was Meyer's books or something I have read or if it is from another fanfic that has stayed in my mind, but I kinda think this is how it would be so there you) and as for the other humans in the know, they keep the secret out of respect for Jake's wishes. Jacob doesn't want Bella to know. He wants her to fall for him based on him alone and not because of the imprint or thinking she has to feel something because of the imprint or worse resenting him or running away from him in fear, so he kept it quiet... anyway here you go please let me know what you think I really love hearing what you guys think, good or bad. Many thanks hugs and love and wolf kisses xxx

**Part Eight****_  
_****_A Little White Lie_**

"Leah, what is it? Just say it."  
Leah had begun wringing her hands anxiously, which was making Bella apprehensive and making her worry what it was Leah had to tell her.  
"Leah? Please. Is it Jake? Is he…hurt?" She asked, her voice thick with emotion, and her eyes pleading for Leah to tell her.  
"Truthfully Bella I don't know. He won't let us in, but I won't lie to you, he isn't in a good way. We need to find a way to get him home, otherwise…" she paused as Bella crumbled to the dirt in a heap, breathing harshly. Leah squatted besides her.  
"Bella, I could lie to you, but that isn't me and if roles were reversed I would actually like someone to tell me the truth, for a change" Leah muttered the last part quietly as Bella nodded weakly. Leah sat down in the dirt besides her, and placed a hand on her shoulder, Bella grazed at her, like a frightened deer; her huge doe like eyes awash with raw emotions and unshed tears.

"I remember when Sam disappeared, I was distraught. We searched for days and days I couldn't work out why he would just disappear, no phone calls, no message, nothing. He just vanished. I was desperate to find him, both his mum and I tried everyone and everywhere we could think of, before that we had had a row but not anything major, not anything you'd disappear over. Before he changed, we were happy, we were engaged, and we were due to go off to college together, we had it all before us, ya' know. Then he goes missing so naturally I feared the worst. Ya' know, after all as far as I knew he had no reason to run away, or leave what other possibilities could it have been right? Obviously people started talking as they always do" she bitterly spat out. Bella nodded again, she knew all too well how people around Forks and no doubt La Push liked to gossip, after all her impeding wedding to Edward had been the main topic of gossip since it had become public knowledge. There were plenty of rumours regarding the possible reasons behind why two high school students were so keen to get married so quickly after graduating, Bella knew this is what would happen and exactly what people think she had warned Edward but him and his romantic notions had dismissed her worries and concerns as nothing more than nonsense. But it wasn't just concerns and worries about what people said that had been behind Bella's attempts to delay the wedding they run much deeper than being the town's gossip topic for a few weeks but Edward had made sure she was in a water tight deal, that she couldn't really get out of with flimsy excuses regarding gossip and rumours and he wouldn't turn her until she was his wife. She rolled her eyes in annoyance, Leah cleared her throat.

Bella blushed brightly when she realised Leah had paused while she went off inside her head.  
"Sorry Leah, I was just thinking of… carry on. Sorry".  
Leah had noticed that Bella had suddenly gone into her head and had a look of annoyance before she had rolled her eyes with irritation, but didn't press her on what she had been thinking about.

"So everyone kept thinking I was pregnant and Sam had done a runner like his dad, which obviously wasn't true. Eventually Sam came home, but he was a mess. He wouldn't tell me anything, he wouldn't tell me where he had been or why he had left. We started rowing then because I knew something was wrong. He had changed. The way he looked, the way he behaved, the way he was with me, it was like I didn't know him anymore he was a stranger to me. Every time I asked him anything to do with his mysterious transformation or disappearances, he'd just get angry and ran off into the woods." She gave a bitter laugh, "and now I know why. We tried to put it behind us, and he begged me to trust him, said he couldn't tell me but he wanted too, but he couldn't. Pleaded with me to stop asking him questions he couldn't answer. I loved him; I was terrified what had made him change so drastically, where he was disappearing too, what he was keeping from me, why he was so angry all the time. I knew I had to trust him if we was going to make a proper go at getting back to the couple we were before so I agreed and I tried, I really did. Even told him that he didn't have to tell me anything he didn't want too as long as he never told me any lies" she sniffed a laugh. Bella turned to look at the girl, baring her deepest, darkest secrets sat beside her. Leah truly was beautiful; her wolf genes had only enhanced the natural beauty she already was. Even now with the pain, anger and disgust she was feeling, dominating and manipulating her features, she still had a breath taking beauty about her.

"But even with that, he couldn't do it and it got to the point I had to know. It was killing me not knowing but I gave in, every time; until the rumours started, worse than before, much worse. So I asked him again to tell me what he could just don't lie. I thought this way, at least I could defend him, defend us knowing he was being at least honest with me. That was all that matter to me, not what people thought or were saying. I mean you didn't have to be that observant to see he had changed physically. People noticed he had come back different, they began to question it. Not surprisingly really, after all you know better than most the effects the change has on our bodies. You must have wondered what the hell had happened to Jacob when you first saw him after his", she looked over at Bella, who murmured "Yeh it was unreal, like over night he had... Well you know".

Leah gave her a grim smile and nodded, "So that's when the new rumours started; first it was he was cheating, or he had got some other girl pregnant, then it was drinking, then drugs, then it was dealing drugs then criminal activities, now it's all that added to the one about us all being a gang etc. You know all the normal type of shit people make up. Yet despite everything all I really wanted to know was that we was gonna be ok, that we was gonna pull through all the shit and get back to how we were before. But eventually it got too much, all of that shit and then all his shifty behaviour, it began to irritate me more and more that I wasn't worth the truth.

Especially when I asked Emily to come down and well you know the rest but even then I still wasn't worth the damn truth, but it was worse because then my dad started to side with Sam and then Emily obviously now I know he was in on it, and he just accepted it all like it was nothing. I mean I was his daughter! His daughter! He said nothing! He did nothing! He could have broke the tribal secrets but nope so instead I was betrayed by three of the five people I loved and trusted more than anyone or anything in the whole world. I get it now, but that doesn't stop it from hurting like hell. Look Bella the reason I am telling you all... This shit; well it's because I know what it's like, not knowing, not understanding everything. I just wish I could have known so I could have made the right choices for me, if I had all the information beforehand. I know there are secrets and some things can't be shared by just anyone but those involved, if at all but it doesn't mean they don't care or want too. You know like with my dad, I'd like to think he wanted to tell me. I'll never know if my dad wanted to tell me about the imprint or Sam being a wolf, but obviously tribe secrets came first, before being a dad, and doing what's best for your own daughter." She said bitterly, "but like I'd like to think that he did, but he was tied to tightly, like we all are by these out of date rules. Sometimes I wonder if I would have been a different person to the bitch I am now, had someone told me the truth." Leah pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around them, as she rocked gently back and forth.

"But more than anything it was the lies and not knowing that hurt more than anything. I don't know if I would have reacted differently had I been told the truth instead of spending so long not understanding how they could have done that to me, and hating them for both betraying me, because they both knew what the other meant to me. Anyway I guess all the shit that happened at the same time that I did find out probably didn't really help my transformation into the biggest bitch alive. I lost my dad, me and my baby brother both suddenly turned into giant wolves, becoming part of a pack that's here to protect the tribe from the cold ones, which by the way do actually exist and the legends are all true, before finding out I am some weird genetic mutant by being the only female to ever phase in history, and what do I get for that privilege? Being trapped here on the Rez for ever and my ex fiancé as my alpha. Then to top all of that off I also found out the truth about him and Emily and their imprint. It was all there laid bare for me to see, as well all the shit I didn't want to know or see..."Leah broke off suddenly and startled Bella as she hit her palms down into her dirt, hard, making the dust fly up like a small sandstorm.

"Leah first of, you're not a mutant, I don't know not will even pretend to understand any of reasons behind you being the first female Wolf or tribal secrets but what I do know is that there is a reason! Plus I'm sure when we leave you may be able to leave or stop phasing or something. I am sorry all that happened all at once to you Leah it wasn't fair and for the record I think you should have been told. I don't understand why Billy or Harry never told you or let Sam tell you. Secrets like that don't do anyone any good. All they do is cause hurt and pain, but maybe we could ask Billy? It really annoys me when people play god with other people's lives. You had a right to know, all of you did! None of you should have had this bomb dropped on you without any preparation, I know yours and Embry's were a surprise but there is no excuse why the rest of the boys weren't prepared." Leah face seems to flicker through an assortment of emotions as Bella spoke.

"Sorry I didn't mean to start ranting it just reminded me of when Jake phased and how much he hated it. It just..." She let out a long heavy sigh, as Leah looked at her and laughed lightly.  
"Never thought I'd see the day that you'd be fighting my corner for me Swan, even if some of it is hidden resentment for Jacob as well. But I do like this angry side of you, Swan it suits you!" Bella blushed,  
"I didn't mean to rant sorry" "Stop! You gotta stop apologising for saying what you think Swan! Seriously what next? Apologising for breathing?!"

Bella looked aghast to begin with and then as she realised Leah had a point she gave a chuckle, "Nope just bleeding actually!" Shocking Leah and making Bella let out a peal of laughter at her expression.

"Can I ask a question?" Bella asked, feeling brave. But as Leah arched an eyebrow at her, Bella began to get worried she had gone too far.  
Leah waiting a very long minute before she replied, "What do you wanna know Swan?"  
Bella had begun tracing shapes in the dust besides her, not looking at Leah, as she had anxiously waited for Leah's response. She was prettified how Leah would respond to her question but she needed to know, and that outweighed her worry and fear of Leah's reaction.  
"Would you have… Erm had you known about…"  
"Spit it out Swan, some of us are getting old here…" It was Bella's turn to raise her eyebrows incredulously at the werewolf, "What? I didn't say which one of us it was…" Leah replied dryly.

"I was just wondering if you could go back, knowing what you know now…"  
"Would I have still dated and fallen for Sam? Even knowing it would or could end up like it did? If I knew there was a possibility he could or would imprint on someone else?"  
Bella looked up from under her lashes shyly, afraid to see how Leah had taken her question. But Leah wasn't glaring her at angrily like she thought she would be I instead she was staring intently into the distance, her eyes locked on the tree line in front of them, it was only the an unfocused glaze that told Bella she was thinking otherwise she would have assumed she was searching for something or someone in the woods. The same way she had seen many of the pack and even the Cullens when they had seen or heard something with their supernatural abilities in the distance.

Not wanting to speak or to push Leah, Bella decided to wait patiently instead and carried on drawing letters in the dust. It wasn't until she finished tracing out an 'o', she realised she had subconsciously wrote Jacob's name. She quickly rubbed it out and glanced over at Leah to see if she had noticed, but she was still staring blinding in front of her. Bella looked back down and begun doodling in the dirt again.  
"Yes" Leah's sudden exclamation made Bella jump.  
"I would have done, yes" Leah confirmed, looking at Bella, expectantly.  
"Does that surprise you?"  
"Truthfully? Yeah it does". Not waiting for Leah to ask her why, Bella carried on, "I guess it does because… well..." She stuttered unsure how to phase it so it wouldn't upset Leah. But when no wisdom came to her, Bella decided to just say it and hope Leah took it in the manner it was meant. "I guess what I am trying to say is that I am confused more than anything that even though you know how it would end and that you would get hurt. Why would you still put yourself through that again? Knowing how much it will cost you and how much it will hurt. Why would you do that to yourself all over again?"

"It's hard to explain. Hmmm okay let me ask you a question? If the…Erm… if Cullen hadn't come home say... and I asked you the same question what would you have said?"  
Bella gave the question serious thought.  
"Yes. Yes I would have done it all over again too."  
"Why?"  
"Because he was, I mean is, he is, my first love. I also gained the family I always wanted in his" she ignored the look Leah was giving her, "but at the same time without him" she took a deep breath; she still struggled talking about this period of time "leaving I wouldn't have gotten to know Jake again or met the pack. I mean I may have done had I not dated Edward but I don't know why but I don't think I would have done had he not left I don't know why, it's just a feeling I have. I don't know if I hadn't dated Edward, if me and Jake would have connected the way we did or if he would have told me about the Cullens, if I hadn't already known about them, or had a vampire trying to kill me. But I don't think I would change it, well I guess the unselfish part of me, who she's we hadn't became friends because I would never have hurt Jake, he would never feel the way he does and I wouldn't have messed his life up, but the selfish part of me, that can't seem to cut him off, literally rips me apart on the inside just thinking of that? Do you know what I mean?" She asked earnestly, searching Leah's face for recognition that this was how she felt, that maybe it was okay to feel like this, Leah nodded because she did understand but she also knew this was also the imprint at play, however Leah also knew that she felt the way she did because she truly loved Sam, whereas Bella was talking about just her "best friend". How the hell was this girl so oblivious to how she truly felt about Jacob?

"Okay one more question than I'll explain my own answer in more depth. But before that I've got a rant of my own! I've a pretty good idea what goes on in Jacob's head, I know Jacob, he draws people in, and had you not dated Cullen, you two would have became friends again, maybe sooner, if you hadn't been dating him. Jacob found a way around Sam's alpha order didn't he? He would still have done that because he wanted you in his life Swan, he also can't keep secrets from you, so he would have told you everything, I can assure you."  
Bella stared at her feet, and pulled her own legs up to her chest mimicking Leah's early action, not trusting her voice or emotions.

Leah had hit a sore point, she had always wondered what could have been if had met Jake first, but she always dismissed the thoughts because she wasn't his imprint so it didn't matter who she met first, and if she would have fallen for him or if she would have still fallen for Edward. She wished more than anything she didn't have to hurt either one of them, because right now whatever happened she was going to hurt one of the two men she loved, and as always it was going to be Jacob, she had already experienced trying to live without Edward and it had nearly killed them both, she couldn't live without Edward, but then as she thought about it she realised she had also been living without Jacob for the last few weeks, and was barely existing. True she hadn't been catatonic like she had been like... Like before but that was only because she hadn't wanted to worry Charlie or alert anyone to how devastated she really was, how much she was worried about the wedding, and her impeding change all the while pretending she was happy to everyone, playing the happy bride to be and if she was honest with herself, she hadn't had the chance to be catatonic because Edward had rarely left her side since she had spent the night of the newborn fight and leaving Jacob broken, battered and heartbroken, crying over what she had done to her best friend.

"As for Sam he was my first love, first everything, and despite it all the hurt, pain and bitterness I loved him, I... Love him. We were in love, I can see that now, I started to doubt it ya' know but we were. We had a lot of happy times, and I've got a lot happy memories, I would never want to lose those. I guess that's something. I can see now that Sam and I weren't meant to be, maybe it is better we found that out now, then when we were married or had children. But that is different then asking if I would have gone ahead and dated Sam knowing he may or may not have had his imprint out there somewhere?" Bella's head snapped up her eyes watching Leah attentively, she had come out of her thoughts and Leah had wondered if this is what Bella wanted to know deep down, her response reassured Leah she had been right after all. She wasn't sure if she was explaining this at all well but hoped Bella would understand what she was trying to tell her, without being direct and actually saying she thought Bella was stupid to do what she was doing based on a fear that would never happen, however Bella wasn't to know that. To her the fear if the imprint was very realistic and far too much of a risk.

Bella nodded keen to know what Leah would say, after all Leah was the one who knew best the destruction the imprint could inflict on someone, like it could on Bella had she been brave enough to have given her love to Jacob, even if only for a short time.

"Yes. I would have taken whatever time I had with him. I'm not going to lie I think I would have tried to protect myself as best as I could and I probably would have been scared that one day it would happen, but I would have still done it. Because the time we were together, it was the best, really it was, we were happy, always laughing, very much in love. I felt like the most special girl in the world, I knew he adored me. It isn't every day you find that kind of love, but I had. It didn't last, but it was worth all the pain, tears and heartbreak, and I would do again and again".  
Bella looked surprised, "Why would you do that to yourself knowing you weren't his imprint?"  
"Sam found his imprint, but what if I could have given up that love and he never met her? What if we could have had all that and the imprint never happened? There is no guarantee that anyone else will imprint Bella, why should we all give up the opportunity to be loved and love on the off chance of something that may not even happen? Do you understand what I am trying to say?"

Bella was quiet. Her mind was racing with all that Leah had said. She had always presumed they would all imprint at some point, and she had always thought that Leah of all people, would have avoided dating Sam had she known what would eventually happen, the same as Bella had been so resistant to letting herself fall any more for Jacob, than she had done already, despite her best efforts.  
"So you even with the possible imprint hanging over your heads you would have still got involved with Sam?"  
Leah nodded passionately, "yep. Bella there aren't any guarantees look at it like this you could have something wonderful forever or even for a little while but you could have it. It's a risk or you could never have it and never ever experience anything even close to it".

Bella was touched that Leah had opened up to her but she was even more confused because she wasn't sure what Leah was trying to tell her, or what to do with what she was trying to tell her about imprinting. She knew it had taken a hell of a lot of guts for Leah to open up to her. She was a vampire slaying wolf, who had attacked and probably killed her fair share of human drinking vampires, that she could do without a second thought, but letting anyone in, scared the shit out of her.

"Thank you for telling me Leah I know it wasn't exactly easy. And I know what you mean about the no lies stuff", Bella sniffed a laugh, "that's one thing I loved about Jake, he always told me the truth. No matter what it was, or how bad it was, he would tell me. He respected me enough ya 'know, to make my own decisions." Leah's face flickered with some emotion briefly but was gone before Bella could read it. She wasn't even sure she had seen it, but figured it was maybe a flash of pain because Sam hadn't given her the same respect.

"Edw… well not everyone does. Honesty is important to me, the same as I am sure it is to you now, more than ever, even though I do understand when secrets are involved it makes it hard to be honest all the time with everyone. Although obviously slightly easier now Jake and you guys know about the Cullens, and I know about the pack. I know we haven't always been on the best terms Leah, but maybe Jake is right, maybe we do have more in common then we both like to admit. No offence." She stuttered as she worried she may have just pressed the button which would make Leah explode, after all she wasn't known for being the second most volatile pack member for nothing.

"After today Swan, I don't think ya as bad as I first thought you were." Bella gave a short surprised giggle in response, "That's actually a compliment coming from you Clearwater! So how about we start this new… whatever this is… with a deal no lies no bullshit", Leah gave a deep, loud laugh at Bella choice of language.  
"Well I see the pack have been a great influence on you Swan!"  
Bella laughed, "Don't!" she rolled her eyes, laughing. "I have to watch what I say enough. At least here I don't need to think about every little thing I say and I don't intend to start, so if ya don't like it, I may have to rethink our friendship".  
Leah laughed again, as she stood dusting of her cut-offs leaning forward and offering her hand to Bella.  
"Hell Swan, I'm not one to tell anyone how to talk! If you ask me it's about time you got a bit of spunk and backbone about you! Maybe hanging with me some will rub off on you! Not sure how much it will work though, not in... What? Two days?" Bella's face fell at the reminder.

"How about this we don't have to tell each other anything but if we do, it will always be the truth?" Leah offered as she pulled Bella to her feet and she dusted off her own clothes. Bella nodded mutely, but gave her a small smile, just as Billy appeared at the door.  
"Drinks are getting cold" he bellowed, looking at them both with worried, apprehensive eyes before he seemed to be reassured they weren't arguing, or Leah had said something which would have upset Bella.  
"Coming Beedy" Bella called as her and Leah strolled towards him, smiling. Billy turned around and pushed himself back inside, smiling as he thought how both Bella and Leah looked happy for once. Now he had to some serious persuading to do. He had yet to work out what he could say to Bella which would make her postpone her wedding, and how he could get Jake home.  
Both girls came through the door Bella tripping on a door mat and flying forward, as Leah grabbed her before she hit the floor, Bella's lit up with embarrassment, as she looked down and timidly mumbled her thanks to Leah. Leah excused herself to go and check in with the others, while Bella sat on the settee, in front of Billy, picking up her coffee.  
"How are you Bella?"  
"Sure, sure Billy", Billy smiled at her distracted response, as she said his son's favourite phase. He hoped all wasn't lost after all.

Leah appeared in the door way her face looking more relaxed than Billy had seen it in a long time.

"Billy can we have a bonfire in two days time?" She asked expectantly.

Bella looked up at her hopefully as Billy looked up surprised. Leah seeing their faces quickly added, "Emily and Kim would like to throw one as a pre-wedding/goodbye party for Bella, and you know how no one can say no to the imprints", she replied wryly, before smiling at Bella., "I'm thinking since I'll have to go that you have to be punished with me Bella if you don't have plans?"

"I don't know Leah I hate big events and I was just going to spend it with Charlie it's my last night at home. It's the night before the Erm wedding".

"Bella please give this to the pack, it will mean a lot to do this for you trust me".

Bella looked conflicted she was already worried how Edward would react, but she also knew he was hunting that night ready for the wedding and honeymoon; in fact they would all be hunting in preparation for the wedding.  
However it was Billy that decided for her,  
"Then it's settled, I'll ring and get Charlie down here too so it can be a proper family event".  
Except the most important person will be missing thought Bella as she smiled up at Leah, and then as she turned to look at Billy, Leah gave him a full beamed smile and a glint glimmered in her eyes, she was up to something and he prayed it had something to do with his missing son.

"So Bella I need to talk to you and I also know we don't really have too much time before you have to go, I am wary of keeping you much longer, but I am glad you have agreed to let us arrange a bonfire for you and I really hope you will come?"

He looked at her hopefully, and Bella felt a pang of what, she wasn't sure.

"Leah's right it would mean a lot to the pack and to me too. Let us do this for you Bella, give ya two old dads the chance to spend some quality time with you plus it will be fun and stop Charlie mopping" he chuckled, as both Bella and Leah joined in, knowing how Charlie had been sulking since he had been told of the engagement and even more so since Renee had given Bella her blessing.

"Yes I'll come, although Leah may need to come bust me out" she laughed, as Leah growled, "don't worry Swan, we'll all bust ya out if you don't come". Bella's smile dropped at her snarl, "now, now, there will be no need for that, we shall tell Charlie last minute and he can bring Bella, so the Cullens won't know" Billy gave a smile as wide as a grand piano at his sneakiness, making Bella and Leah giggle, before Bella realised they had all forgot about Alice.

"That won't work, Alice will probably have already seen me disappearing in two days time, and told Edward" she mumbled defeated.

"So tell him to you're coming? You aren't his prisoner Swan! Nor is he your father, and if Charlie is here he can't deny you surely? He gets you forever we want you for one night? Billy is right give Charlie one night to see you laughing and happy to remember you by Bella!"

"Leah please, it isn't like that. He isn't like that."

Leah snarled and jumped up and marched into the kitchen where banging and crashing ensued.

Bella looked at Billy apologetically, "Sorry Billy, it is getting late I will need to get back soon and try to sort things out with Edward, and let the wolves rest" Bella muttered, really she was beginning to worry about Edward and didn't want him getting too cross, he had already threatened to cross the line, and if Alice told him she had disappeared the night before the wedding there was no telling what he would do.

"Well Bella the thing is I know Jacob loves you and I know you care about him, maybe not in the same way" Bella gasped, she hadn't realised this was the conversation Billy wanted to have. Her insides ached at the thought of Jake, and how wrong his father was.

"Billy I'm no good for Jacob. He deserves so much more than me. All I do, all I have ever done is hurt him. He'll be better off when he meets his imprint, and he won't even remember me. I won't even be a dot in the distance, but don't ever think I never loved him or cared about him. He means the world to me but I want him to forget me, I'm bad for him, I'm not good enough for him, hell he will be so much better off without…"

"Bella Jake can't imprint…"


	10. Chapter 10

**Part Nine****_  
_** **_Links_**

"Billy I'm bad for Jake. He deserves better than me. I'm no good for him all I do; all I have ever done is hurt him. He'll be better off when he forgets me and moves on, when he meets his imprint, he won't even remember me anyway. I won't even be a blot in his memories, and as much as it pains me, I know it's for the best. But don't you ever think I don't love him or care about him, he means the world to me and he always will but I want him to forget me. I will never ever be good enough for Jake. He'll be so much better off without…"

"Bella Jake can't imprint…"

Bella's mouth had popped open at Billy's admission and it was still hanging open several minutes later. Billy had waited patiently trying to give the time to come to terms with the bombshell, he had dropped her. However she was still sat in stunned silence, she hadn't moved or spoke since, if she didn't respond soon he was going to have to try and draw her out of her stupor. While Billy pondered the best way to tow Bella back to him, he tried to not feel bad about the tiny white lie he had told, well lie by omission. He reasoned what he had told her was true, he merely neglected to add the "again" or stipulate the reason behind why Jacob couldn't imprint.

Bella still hadn't reacted and Billy was really beginning to worry, when she finally seemed to stir from her haze, just as Leah appeared in the doorway, and Embry bounded through the front door, nodding at Billy and Bella before making his way to the kitchen, as all the wolves did, in any house they entered.

"I… Jake… he… imprint? I… don't…. understand"

"You told her?" Embry spun around so fast, he was a blur of bronzed skin and denim to Bella, who hadn't even registered he was there, to look at Billy. Embry's face was contorted with in a mixture of shock and horror, before something occurred to him, and his expression suddenly radiating happiness and relief.

"Thank fuck for that! This is absolutely freaking amazing, just wait…"

"Embry!" Billy's face suddenly became stern, as he shook his head in the warning at the new wolf. He knew Embry had been at Sam's guarding the imprints and was curious why Sam had sent him over here; he also wondered how much Embry was aware of, since he would have been human around the imprints. Sam didn't have any of the men in their wolf forms around the girls. He was far too afraid of history repeating itself after what happened with Emily. If Billy was right, the only imprint to have even been near any of the wolves, was Bella.

Bella had spun herself around, so she was looking at Embry, her tired, pale and worn face, crunched up in confusion. Embry was shocked at her appearance; he noted the deep frown line, between her eyebrows that Jacob had always teased her about. Embry strode over to the sofa, and rubbed the skin, with his thumb making Bella jump in surprise. Her eyes flashed to his, searching for something.

"You were frowning Jake… erm I mean I don't like to see you frown. Sorry. It was... Sorry. I don't know why…" Bella, although surprised by the sudden intimate touch, had felt herself relax with it, only nodded in response. Embry felt awful for lying to Bella, but he realised if Bella had only just found out about the imprint he needed to tread carefully, he didn't want to be the one who said too much and scared her off and he was damn well positive that admitting to her he had felt an over whelming urge to touch her, reconnect with her and the compulsion to stop her frowning had been to powerful to resist.

The pull of any of the pack's imprints was incredibly strong to every member of the pack, whether imprinted or not, they all felt protective of the imprints. They were pack, and the need to protect and look after their pack brothers and sisters, because that is what Leah and all the imprints were to them, sisters, ran through each of the wolves. They were all connected, interwoven together through a deep spiritual bond, like the yarn of a loom. All different colours, but all weaved together as one.

"That's… J… he… used to…that's… why…" she gave a small cough and looked down apprehensively, "It's ok Embry, you surprised me". Bella didn't mention that his heat, like when Sam and Leah had both held her, had made her yearn for Jake even more. She had been feeling extremely cold even more so since Jake had left, but it had been getting more intense lately, almost as if the longer Jake stayed away the colder she got. This thought had crossed Bella's mind many times, but each time she had shrugged it off as nonsense, but sat here, she wondered if it was some kind of punishment for abandoning her sun, for not choosing him, instead choosing the cold, over his warmth. She had chose ice over his fire, and not it was like her body was showing just how cold life would be without him in hers. Bella hated the cold. Absolutely detested it, that was until she had met Edward, it wasn't until he had left her all alone, and Jake had came to her rescue she had been reminded of how much she loved warmth and heat and fire and more importantly the sun, especially her sun.

Billy cleared his throat, and Bella looked over her shoulder at him, as Embry tilted his head upwards so he was now looking over Bella. Leah, Embry realised, had made her way over to them as she stepped up beside him and nudged him with her shoulder, resting her hands on the back of the sofa.

"Embry will you get a hoody for Bella please, I don't like the way she's shivering", Bella looked down at her hands, which were indeed shaking. A massive ball of red appeared beside her head. Bella took it and began to pull it over her head, as the familiar scent hit her.

**Jacob.**

Without realising she had scrunched the material against her face, and took a deep inhale of his woody, musky smell. Billy looked over her head to the two wolves and gave them both a wide, coverted smile. Leah arched an eyebrow at the girl next to her. Bella looked like a drug addict getting a long overdue hit. Embry could have got one of Rachel's hoodies or even Paul's but he clearly had either been too uncomfortable to go into Rach's room or he had opted for Jake's on purpose. Leah wondered if it was the second, after all this girl needed a strong reminder of the boy who had ran away and gone wolf for the last god knows weeks and was prepared to die a horrible death and all because of her. However she hadn't expected Bella's reaction to the sweater and neither had Embry.

Bella suddenly realised what she was doing and where she was, and looked up sheepishly, blushing deeply. She slipped the jumper over her head, taking a long time hoping her face would calm down before she had to face the three people on the other side, but the more she thought about it the hotter her face grew. Embry let out a deep chuckle from behind her, "Bella you can't stay in there forever, ya' know so either put it on or I'm going to wear it instead". Bella gave a small giggle at Embry.

She yanked it down over her head finally, and snuggled into the cocoon of warmth and Jacob's smell. "You're hot enough without a sweater! Would you really deprave me? A mere poor human girl," Embry gave a hearty laugh, "I'm hot? Why thanks Bella! I never get those kinda comments of Leah or the other imprints…" realising what he had said, he sucked in a sharp breath, as did Leah and Billy, as they awaited Bella's reaction. Bella gave a loud and happy laugh at his teasing, "haha very funny Em! You know what I meant! You're hot, hot. You're what? 108?"

Embry crowed "See you both heard that Bella thinks I am hot! Not just hot but hot, hot! AND I scored 108! Hell no one else has got even got a 9!" Seeing Bella laugh and smile, was making Embry feel jovial instead of the fake cheery he had been trying for since he had got here, and even Leah had smiled at this new Bella. She seemed a little better, a teeny bit brighter, and happier all of a sudden, could Jacob's scent really work that well, that quickly?

"Ok as much as I am enjoying this, we have limited time before Bella has to leave" as Billy spoke the atmosphere in the room dropped, as did Bella's face. She had been enjoying herself, for the first time. She couldn't even remember the last time she had smile or laughed. It had been that long. In fact it was probably at the last bonfire she has attended before the newborn fight. It seemed so long ago now, so long since she had been with Jacob and smiled genuinely. She gave a deep sigh, Billy patted her hands. "Don't be sad Bella, you can come and go as you please, this is as much a home to you now, as it ever was, and is to the rest of the pack but the Cullens will want to see you soon, the wolves can only placate them so long, and I'm sure you want to see them too. It's been a long day, however we need to discuss somethings first, if that is okay?"

Bella nodded, as she pulled nervously on the sleeves of Jake's hoody top.

"You said Jake can't imprint?"

"Huh?" squeaked a surprised Embry. Bella looked over her shoulder at him, surprised at his reaction, "You said it was good Billy had told me finally… what is going on?"

"Billy is right Bella, Em was just, well it's Em. Ignore him" Leah tried to persuade her, Embry jumped in "Yep, I'd have been surprised even if Billy told me my name was Embry, Bella. Ive not had a lot of sleep in a while". Bella nodded she knew how little they all got and with Jacob gone and them all helping out with the extra shifts and checking in on Billy, they were even more stretched than normal.

"Yes Bella, Jacob can't imprint" he added the silent "again", again, as the sense of guilt from misleading Bella washed over him again.

"How?… why? Jacob always said he couldn't but I didn't believe him I thought he was just saying it. If… he really can't? You mean it? He really can't? You're not just saying that so I change my mind are you?" Billy's old heart gave a loud and heavy thump at her questions, but he refused to give it away and pulled his best poker face, before alighting his aged face with the most reassuring smile at her.

"Bella, he will never imprint, his feelings for you are genuine, trust me as his father I know. He has and will only ever see you. The question is now, how do you genuinely feel about him? Does this change anything?"

Bella unexpectedly burst into very loud, heartbreaking sobs. The three Quileutes all looked taken aback at each other.

"Bella…" Leah asked hesitantly, "what on earth is wrong?" she scooted closer, around put her arm around Bella, and gave her a short squeeze.

"fnksdahfihdgksmndcvkhsdfvndfkvhkfnkd" was her unintelligible reply. Leah raised her head over Bella's and pleaded with the two men with her for help.

Embry feeling for Bella and because like with Leah he too was struggling with Jake's imprint crying, sat on the arm of the sofa, next to her and put his arm around her shoulders, nodding at Leah, who eased her arm away as he pulled Bella into him, which only made her cry even harder. Embry was at a loss, and looked helplessly at Leah, his face furrowed with confusion. Leah rolled her eyes at him, and spoke so softly and so quickly, that even Bella in-between them couldn't hear as she explained Bella was in love with Jake she was too petrified of Jacob imprinting, and that when he hugged her, it reminded her of Jake. Embry gave a "oh" and decided to ignore the tone Leah had spoke in, or the moron comment at the end.

"I am so…"

"Bella I know you love Jacob." Bella nodded, attempting to stop her tears. Embry nodded, and carried on "I know, no we know, everyone knows you are _in_ love with Jake, even Jacob knows it. Why do you think he fought so hard for you, why he never gave up on you, on trying to make you see it, why he couldn't walk away, why he couldn't handle the wedding invite…"

"I didn't… it wasn't…" taking a deep breath to try to control her tears and her breathing, Bella tried to speak again, "I never knew. I didn't send it and I didn't know _he_ had or would do that, I am so sorry I wish I had known".

"Bella that is all in the past, what I want to know is whether this news changes anything now?" Billy asked looking at her directly, searching her eyes, when he found what he was looking for, he nodded at her.

"Hmmm just like I thought, Bella he loves you, you will always be the love of his life, he loves you and only you. If… IF you love him Bella, now is the time to act. Seriously." Billy looked at her so solemnly and stern, it worried Bella.

"I do. I really do. But I don't know what to do, I am so confused", she whispered. Leah growled, "What the f…hell Swan? Really? We all know you love Jacob, he loves you. You are meant to be with him. Your biggest fear was him imprinting? Now you know he can't it still isn't enough. What the f…" she glanced at Billy, "freaking hell is it that you want from him? What is it you need him to do? Die? Cos guess what?! That is happening as we speak! Stop being such a self centred bitch!" Bella sat dumbfounded.

"He is dying? How? Why? What's wrong with him?"

"Billy frowned angrily at Leah, thinking quickly, "he hasn't been looking after himself, and is adamant he isn't coming home. He doesn't want to see you became his mortal enemy. He isn't looking after himself, he- well he is determined to die. He feels that strongly about you Bella, but I didn't want that to sway your decision and neither would Jacob", he finished looking sternly at Leah. Bella turned and looked at Leah "Is it true?" it was Embry that spoke, "yes Bella, he is weakening, even as a wolf, we don't know how long he has, but his bond to us is weakening so we don't think he has long. We don't know how he is doing it, his wolf's natural survival instinct should have kicked in by now, but it hasn't. Jake's wolf has given up as well." Bella stood up her hands clenched in tight fists, her face screwed up in furious indignation.

"What the hell is wrong with all the bloody men in my life that makes them all freaking suicidal? How dare he? Embry get ya butt outside and phase! I wanna speak to Jake now!"

"Bella he won't respond, we have tried even Billy…"

"Embry he can hear you so come on", she grabbed his hand and marched him outside.

"Phase!"

"Bella I can't!"

"**EMBRY PHASE!"** Bella spun at the deep voice, before she felt the air shift and she turned around to see Embry's wolf in front of her, remembering why she was out here, Bella stomped over to him, and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Jacob Ephraim Black! Get your butt home now! Don't you dare think you can die on me! I swear to God I will come and find you where ever you are! You can't die Jake please, I love you please, please come home, come home to me. Please" Bella crumpled to her knees and Embry's wolf whined and nudged her, sniffing and snuffling at her.

"Come home Jake. Please", she whimpered heartbrokenly.

"Bella it's time to go with have to take you back. They are waiting for you".

"I don't want to. I want to wait for Jake", Embry's wolf sat beside her, growling.

"Bella you can't they are threatening to come and get you, and well you know that can't happen, you have to go I'm sorry my child," Billy spoke sadly, "I wish you could stay here but the only one who can fix this is you," he leant forward and placed his warm hand against her cheek. "Go and put it right and come back please Bella, come back to us". Bella looked up to see everyone was looking at her with the same expression, she nodded slowly and attempted to get to her feet, as both Embry's wolf and Sam helped her up. She threw her arms around Embry's wolf crying into his fur, "I miss you Jake. I miss you so much please. I need you. I love you. Come home to me please".

"Bella we have to go now" as she was pulled away from her only link to Jacob.

an: sorry guys for the long wait it has been really insane here lots going on but here is something small xxx


	11. Chapter 11

**Part Ten**_**  
**__**Fire under my feet**_

Meanwhile Jacob's massive paws were violently pounding across the Canadian mountains, his claws ripping into the dirt, as he tried to push himself further, faster and harder. Deep growls were ripping from his chest as he watched through the pack mind link patrolling around La Push, while Sam had them all on high alert in case Cullen of any of his _family _attempted to cross over the treaty line to get to Bella. _His_ Bella. He had to get back to her, he had to try one last time to make her see sense; to see she did love him, that she was supposed to be with him, that he loved her, that they could be happy. Hell he was even considering telling her about the imprint if it meant it would make her just pause long enough to see what could be, if she only gave him, gave them a chance. That was all he needed; a fair chance to show her what their life could be like. Then if she still didn't want to be with him then he would accept defeat, and lie down and die. Gladly.

Jake knew Bella had the odd errant thought about him about them, but she was so convinced she couldn't live without that bloodsucker she had never really given it the time, attention or consideration that she should have, given what she was giving up. Jacob fought the bile rising in his throat, the anger making his muscles hiss as he pushed them way past their comfort zone. It was in this blind rage that Embry suddenly popped into his mind.

_WHAT THE HELL?_

_JAKE! BELLA! _

_WHAT? WHAT ABOUT BEL… HER?_

Jake could now see from Embry's own position in the Black's back yard. Straight ahead of him was his imprint, behind her was Sam further back was Leah and on the porch was his father. Jacob noted how old and frail his father was looking, but his wolf was only interested in one person; the tiny person stalking towards Embry.

Jake faltered in his run as she appeared in front of Embry, shouting at him; but all her anger was directed to Jacob, poor Embry was merely the telephone line. The anger in her voice made Jake's wolf whimper, and look down at the ground. Their imprint was right there in front of him and not only was she finally addressing him but she was beyond furious.

"Jacob Ephraim Black! Get your butt home now! Don't you dare think you can die on me! I swear to God I will come and find you where ever you are! You can't die Jake please.

_Who the hell told her I intended to die? _He yelled at Embry.

"I love you please, please come home, come home to me. Please" Bella begged as Embry gave an indignant huff, _She loves you- you idiot listen to her._

Jake's yelped as he watched Bella crumple to her knees in front of him.

_Do something! Help her! What's wrong with her? Jake barked out anxiously._

_Nothing is wrong like that man! Calm ya self! She misses you. She must be feeling the pull of the imprint what with you being in Timbuktu!_

Jake growled angrily at his childhood friend and pack brother, but Em had already walked forward and tried to console her, and as much as it infuriated his wolf to have another male so close, while his imprint was upset, and even more so as the grey spotted wolf began to nudge her, the boy tried to breathe through his ire, knowing Embry was the closest link to his imprint and he was only to trying to soothe her, he reasoned. Embry realising Jake was pissed, took a deep sniff of Bella as he sniff and snuffled her letting her scent flow through his body. To Embry it was nothing more than simply smelling any of the other imprints or wolves, reconnecting, checking they were okay, re-establishing and strengthening the bonds, but to Jake Embry knew it would be the only thing that may calm his wolf or at worst ignite a fire under him, and make him dash for home as fast as his exhausted legs could carry him. Embry however, believed it would in fact do both. As Jake caught Bella's scent his wolf instantly calmed. As her scent flooded his mind and all of his senses Jake felt like he was finally taking a big gasping breathe of air at last, after holding it for far too long. It was almost like he had been trapped under water, and was only now finally getting the oxygen he desperately needed.

Jacob's wolf was beyond jubilant. Jake could feel his chest puffing out with pride, swelling so much that Jake wondered if it was possible to explode with happiness as his imprint declared her love for them. However the boy wasn't as foolish, he wondered if this was nothing more than a clever and manipulative ploy to get him to come home. _Would she lie to me about something so serious?_

Jake pushed into Embry's thoughts to see what had happened since the other wolf had arrived at Jake's old house to guard Bella under both Jake's request and Sam's order.

"Come home Jake. Please", Bella whimpered into Embry's ear heartbrokenly, searing straight through Jake's own heart.

"Bella it's time to go with have to take you back. They are waiting for you" Sam spoke softly, but his words made both wolves hackles rise in fury. Jake heard her plead to stay as Embry wolf sat down on his hunches next to her subtly growling, not at their alphas but at the prospect of one of the imprints being so close to vampires. Which surprised both Jake and Embry, they had never been this protective over Bella's relationship with the leeches. This thought made both wolves ecstatic, it only secured further that Bella's feelings were changing from friend to mate. Their wolves' could sense the change in her.

As Billy address Bella, Jake's wolf broke into furious snarls and growls, at the prospect that those damn bloodsuckers were making threats to his home, his family, his land, and to his imprint and future mate.

Jake pushed his muscles to carry him further, that short smell of Bella seemed to have recharged his wolf, he knew both man and wolf were running on empty, they hadn't eaten in weeks, but knowing his imprint loved him, just the slightest hint of her intoxicating scent had worked magic on his tired body and soul. He felt alive, and ready for whatever awaited him when he finally reached home, he was finally going to get Bella. He didn't care what it took, but he was going to claim his best friend as his mate. It was time to take what was rightfully his.

Embry quietly observed Jake's thoughts, and inside his wolf, Embry was smiling widely. Jake was finally going to do what he should have done months ago, and although it had taken near dying he had seen sense but more importantly so had Bella. But only time would tell whether she stuck to it, after all she may have a stubborn streak she also had a very fickle side especially when it came to those leeches she loved so much.

Jake snarled as he caught the tail end of Embry's thoughts, but his attention was drawn to the petite girl trying to climb to her feet, unsteadily. She looked so much smaller, thinner, and so gaunt Jake was horrified when she actually took in her appearance, the shock made his wolf stagger under the realisation that she looked even worse than she did the first time she appeared all those months ago with the motorcycles for him to fix.

Suddenly Bella threw her arms around Embry's wolf neck crying into his fur, "I miss you Jake. I miss you so much please. I need you. I love you. Come home to me please". Jake let out a piercing agonising howl in response to her, as Sam pulled her away and back to the Leeches.

_Get your ass home Jake and soon. I'll look after her as best as I can Jake, we all will but she wants you. She needs you. It's you she wants, but she is freaking scared out of her mind, you're going to imprint and leave her. Billy I think has told her you can't imprint…_

_WHAT THE FUCK?_

_Calm down man! She had to be told something she was freaking out! Hell it seems to have worked Jake you owe ya old man! You also owe a shit load of explanations to Bella. You owe that. Don't be like that leech and keep shit from her, that isn't the way to start your life together._

_Yeah yeah, I know. I know, I never wanted to lie to her, or keep shit from her. I just didn't wanna scare her off. Besides I wanted her to love me for me Em, not because she felt like she had too, or choose me for the imprint. _

Embry could feel the sincerity of his pack brother's words, but he also knew Jake's imprint. Jake was going to have a hard job convincing her when she did find out he had lied to her.


	12. Chapter 12

**Part Eleven**_**  
**__Bookends_

Even though physically they were miles apart Embry and Jacob were both currently watching the same scene unfold in front them, identical loud and furious growls resonated fiercely from both of them as Bella slouched forward dejectedly, gripping her middle tightly and distraughtly sobbing. At the same time as Bella fell, Sam caught her swiftly and enveloped the tiny girl's frame within his massive arms, pulling her into his side, so he could lead her around the small wooden house, back to her truck and the waiting vampires. Leah appeared next to Bella and received a furious growl from Jake from within Embry's head.

"Chill man!" Embry cautioned him, "Leah is cool with Bella. Trust me." Embry's mind flashed through what he had seen with his own eyes, and what he had seen from Sam, Seth and Leah's point of views from earlier. Jake's gave a bewildered sniff, as they watched their pack sister tenderly rubbing circles with her hand on Bella's back comfortingly.

Embry gave a snigger at his pack brother's confusion with Leah's sudden change of heart, towards his imprint, which as a wolf sounded more like a choking sound, the noise caught Billy's attention. He had been so focused on Bella, who currently looked like she was on the verge of collapsing again, the noise had surprised him. Billy pulled his eyes away from Bella for the first time since she had ran to the grey spotted wolf, demanding and crying for his son's safe return. Billy raised a questioning eyebrow at Embry, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards, at whatever Jacob had said to make Embry's wolf laugh.

The old man looked at the massive wolf stood in the middle of his backyard, knowing that Jake could see and hear him, clasping his hands tightly together before resting them in his lap he finally spoke to his son for the first time in weeks; using the tone the wolves recognised as that of the Chief of their tribe, and not that of Billy Black, Jacob's father.

"Jacob I know you will be doing your best but it is crucial get home as soon as possible. You have to get here before..." Billy's face darkened and distorted momentarily as he struggled with his words, which was rare for the wise elder, pulling his hand over his face, he tried again, "Bella needs you Jacob. She- …and the-…", he took a generous gulp of air, while he tried to find the right words, letting out a loud and frustrated sigh, "just get home please son. I-" shaking his head, he corrected himself "_We_ will do everything we can. I swear on the spirits to keep her safe until she is finally by your side, but _it is time_ Jacob. Call on the spirits Jacob, ask them for help. You must do whatever it takes son. But- but get home as quick as you can. It is vital, _your_ Bella needs to see _you_. _She loves you Jacob_, _YOU_! Not the imprint, or because of it, but because of you! It has always been you! She just never wanted to admit it to anyone else, let alone herself because she was and still is absolutely petrified that you will imprint and leave her. She has to hear it from you that you won't ever leave her" his lips twitched into a mischievous smile, adding "I think she will believe you this last time. But we need you here there is only so much we can do. I honestly don't know how much power or influence _they_ have over her, I think that could be some of it." Embry and Jake growled furiously at the assumption the leeches could be using mind tricks on Bella. However Billy ignored them and continued speaking. Looked directly into the eyes of Embry's massive wolf who was violently snarling, "Jacob" he commanded, which abruptly silenced both wolves, "We will do everything we can, Bella won't be without the protection of the pack but _it is you she needs _and…" Billy's voice became thick with emotion, and both boys felt the change from Chief to father, "I need you son. We all need you. We miss you" he gave a cough to clear the swell of emotion building in his throat before stating firmly in a tone attempting to shift the pervious emotion "be careful."

Billy nodded, bidding them farewell as he placed his thick, weathered hands on the wheels of his chair and began to push himself away from the wolf in front of him, who was his only link to his son, who was miles away currently running like the wind, through the Canadian wilderness. Both wolves saw Billy's lips move quickly and abruptly as he turned away from them, but even with their supernatural hearing they failed to hear what the proud man had said until a gust of wind carried the old man's heartfelt declaration of love for his missing son.

Sam was supporting the majority of Bella's weight, while Leah helped from the other side, but even with their help, Bella still stumbled and tripped while she continued to sob inconsolably. Both wolves tried to guide her around the side of Black's house, towards where she had parked her truck, and back towards the Cullens and Sparkly Balls. Embry could feel the assortment of emotions rolling off Jacob in waves, like their where his own. In fact it was hard for Embry to determine which feelings were his own, and which were those of Jacob.

As Bella, Sam and Leah disappeared out of view, Embry sent a prayer up to the great spirits to help Jake and Bella to be reunited quickly. Telling Jake to move his arse, but lacing it with brotherly love, that he knew Jake would feel, he phased back, yanking on his cut offs, and running to where Billy was still trying to manoeuvre his wheelchair around the porch of the house. Embry grabbed the handles of Billy's chair, "come on Old man, let's get you around there while I'm still young". Billy chuckled softly, as Embry placed a hand on his shoulder and gave a squeeze. Billy knew Embry was trying to help fill in for Jacob, and Billy fully appreciated the gesture, including the same easy, light-hearted teasing his missing son would have said to him. Billy felt a pang for his missing son, but was consoled with the idea that he was finally coming back and would be home soon, he just prayed it was in time to make Bella see sense. "Thank you Embry son." Embry nodded silently. Both men touched by the other's gesture, of acceptance and family. Billy summarised that Bella would have an interesting impact on the pack if and when she fully accepted the imprint, if the differences to the three wolves and himself in the short period was anything to go by.

"Sam we can't leave her unprotected while she talks to the bloodsuckers or even if she decides to go home, we have to try and minimise the time she spends with them unguarded in case they are dazzling her" Billy, spoke in a quiet voice, even though he doubted Bella was in any state to take anything on board in the shape she was currently in.

Sam nodded his head, then looked at Leah, who nodded and curled her arm around Bella's waist, and used her other hand to take Bella's head off Sam's chest and pulled her into a tight embrace, still whispering soothing words into her ear. Sam slipped his arms away, as gently as possible in the hope Bella wouldn't realise the switch that taken place, but she began sobbing harder, and mumbling incoherently into Leah's top.

Leah tilted her head and nodded in the direction of Billy and Embry. Sam nodded, and strode towards the two men, lowering his voice, as Billy had, but knowing Leah would still be able to hear. He hunched down so he perched on the balls of his large feet, but level with Billy. The pack refused to have their chief look up to them, when they could help it. It was bad enough they were so abnormally tall, that everyone but each other had to look up to them, but as a sign of respect they always tried to lower their height, especially with Billy, when they could, by sitting or squatting as Sam was currently doing.

"What do you suggest Billy? I'm not sure how much control we will have once, Bella is back with them. Nor do I want any of them knowing what has happened today- or at all to be honest with you, but the minute we are within range of the mind reader, he will know everything. I know he can't read Bella's mind, but the rest of us he can. What if he realises Bella's feelings have changed or that she is changing her mind about her future or Jake is coming home to claim her as his. We don't know if he knows about the imprint Jake was always very good at controlling his thoughts around him. I mean we can try and we will… but I don't know how long any of us can keep that up for?"

"Order us"

All three of their heads snapped up to stare in astonishment at Leah. They all knew how much Leah hated being given Alpha orders, in fact as a whole, the entire pack disliked them, but Jake and Leah absolutely detested them, even more than Sam hated given them out.

"Lee…" Sam started.

"No Sam, it's the only way to protect Bella, Jacob and the pack, think about it. What if they realise she has changed her mind and turn her there and then or what if they take her and run?"

The three men were silent as they realised Leah was right. Embry looked at the ground and kicked at the dust aggressively with his bare foot. Billy looked at the she-wolf with respect, the pack had no idea why Leah had phased and because of her pain over the imprint and her father's death as well as feeling like an outcast and a freak, she hadn't made the best pack member so far but Billy had always had suspicions about why she had phased, but he had kept them to himself but now he could see his suspicions were right. The spirits had chosen Leah to phase for a reason, the same as they had chosen Bella as Jake's imprint. Billy strongly believed they were going to both have an instrumental par to play in the pack, especially now Bella was finally on the cusp of becoming officially part of the pack, Leah was about to find her rightful place in the pack at last. He smiled widely at the beautiful she wolf as she cradled Bella. Both of his best friends' daughters were going to be a force to be reckoned with soon. He sent a thank you up to the Spirits, and asked that both young girls were protected, and prayed that his two absent children would come home to him safe and sound, so that their plans could be fulfilled finally.

Sam searched Leah's eyes, trying to work out what she was thinking. Normally she resented any attempt to gage her thoughts whether as a human or as a wolf, but today she stood tall and looked straight at her ex, not bristling or reacting to the intrusion at all.

"Just do it Sam. I'm not leaving Bella. Not until Jake is home", she vowed.

Embry stepped forward, "Me either. I promised Jake I wouldn't let anything happen to her. So I won't be leaving her side- with or without an order to protect our thoughts".

"Fine, I'll have to see how the others feel first, because of patrolling" he explained, he wasn't very hopeful, especially where Paul was concerned however he could always keep him at Emily's with the imprints and away from the treaty line. "I don't know how they will feel about it though, wait here." Without waiting for a response he ran towards the trees. As a loud howl echoed from behind her, Bella jumped startled by the sound and swirled out of Leah's arms.

"It's Sam Bella."

"What's wrong?" she stammered still, breathless from crying and being startled. Her heart was pondering rapidly in her chest.

"Nothing Bella, don't worry" Billy soothed.

"Sam just needs to talk to the others, so he needed to get their attention if they weren't phased." Embry explained.

"Why?"

"Because Embry and I are coming back with you Bella…"

"No, no, no that won't work. Edward will know, or he will…"

"If you waited Swan I was about to say I asked Sam to order me, us, so we won't think of anything that happened today Bella. He won't be able to read our thoughts. That way you get privacy and he won't realise why we are there. Sam needs to see if the others will agree to the same order. I don't know how or if it will work but we promised Jacob we would look after you and we will, whether you like it or not." Bella nodded mutely, secretly she was glad, Leah and Embry would be close by. She was nervous about seeing Edward and telling him, she was ending their relationship. She had no idea how he would react. After all he was prone to reacting rather over dramatically, she thought thinking of the all the times he had acted so drastically and especially Italy.

"Oh no! No, no, no…"

"What?" Leah exclaimed as she, Embry and Billy all looked at Bella surprised at her sudden outburst.

"The Volturi… How could I forget"

"The what? What the heck is the vultarali?" Embry's face was crunched up in confusion much like Jacob's would have been, Bella would have smiled if her world wasn't crashing down around her- again.

"When I went to Italy to save Edward, we had to make a promise to get out alive… How could I be so stupid… How could I forget? I can't" shaking her head, as large, tears pooled at the corners of her eyes, as she looked straight at Billy, "I can't… I have… to… I…"

"Bella what on earth is it?" Billy asked concerned why Bella was suddenly clutching her chest and hyperventilating.

Leah stepped in front of Bella, "Bella seriously calm down or I'll slap you and I really don't want to do that now… but I will unless you stop being such a freaking drama queen and tell us what the hell you're going on about. What the hell is this V thing and what can't you do?"

Embry scowled at Leah as he too stepped in front of Bella. He placed a finger and thumb under her chin and tilted her head so she was looking at him, two steaming rivers of tears flowed down her cheeks, as she breathed harshly.

"Breathe Bella, in, out, in, out, breathe with me Bella… that's it.."

After a few moments, just as Bella had her breathing under control the massive black wolf walked out from the trees, followed by Seth's sandy coloured wolf. Both Wolves tilted their heads to the side, looking at Bella, and Embry breathing in and out slowly, Leah's annoyed stance and Billy's confused and concerned face. They smelt Bella's tears and saw the tear tracks down her face.

Leah looked over her shoulder at them both "something has freaked Bella out, some vultures or something" she shrugged, before turning her attention back to Bella and Embry.

Embry spoke in a soothing tone Bella errantly thought he would make a good father one day, as he spoke calmly to her, again.

"Better? Are you ready to tell us what freaked you Bella?"

"The Volturi are basically the leaders of the Vampires" both Sam and Seth growled in their wolf forms as Leah and Embry let out human growls. Bella smiled thinly at them all, it would have been comically if it wasn't so serious.

"They have all these rules…"

"Ha, right! Like what? What rules could bloodsuckers…" Leah's rant was interrupted by a furious bark of warning from Sam.

Bella nodded her head, whether in thanks to Sam or just as a nervous tick as to what was to follow Sam wasn't sure. Billy had pushed himself as close to Bella as he could. Embry realising what he was trying to do took two wide strides and reached him and pushed him so he was in front of Bella, Embry then stepped beside her and draped his arm over Bella's shoulders to reassure her, she leant into his warmth subconsciously and drawing strength from him to continue.

"Like never let humans become aware of their existence. As far as they are concerned there are only two outcomes for any human who knows their secret" Bella took a massive gulp of air trying to calm her emotions. Billy reached out and took her hand, giving it a firm squeeze and patted it, waiting for her to continue.

"To die or be turned…", again growls erupted around her.

"Hang on- but you're here!" Leah stated. "How? How did you came out alive and not as a vamp?…" Leah asked perplexed, then as her mind made the connections, Bella knew she would she let out a fierce growl. "What promise did those bloodsuckers make Bella?" Sam and Seth having not heard this part both broke into growls again as they too, realised why Bella had freaked out and was struggling to say.

"Alice told them she saw me as a vampire. The leader, Aro, he can read thoughts, he can read or see any thought, any memory, anything and everything you have ever seen thought, heard. He read Alice's mind and saw her vision of me as a vampire… so they agreed to let me go on the condition I was turned as soon as possible. The plan was that Edward would turn me after the wedding" Bella looked down at the ground, as the air was suddenly filled with howls, and snarls, and Billy's angry ranting.

"Now you see.. You know why I can't… I have to be turned otherwise they will come here looking for me, and I can't risk them finding Jake or Billy or any of you. They can't find out about the pack." As the words left her, the full extent of what they meant made Bella crumple to the ground like a puppet whose strings had been severed.

A sharp yelp, cut through the air, halting all the racket except for Billy's ranting. Suddenly Sam was in front of Bella.

"Bella, you can't expect us to allow you to sacrifice yourself-"

"Yes, I have too. It didn't matter before I thought it was what I wanted…"

"and now…" Billy asked.

"I don't want to be a vampire anymore and I don't want to die. I want to be with Jake, I love him. I truly love him. I was so scared before, that he would imprint and leave me. I couldn't, I can't stand the idea of losing him, I wouldn't survive. He literally is a part of me. I thought it was better to walk away, let him live, and live a happy life with his imprint. I thought it was better if he hated me, you know help him to move on, then… I know Edward loves me, and so do the Cullens, they would look after me and protect me, and I do love Edward, I do… Just not like I love Jake. I'm in love with Jake. I thought I was with Edward but it was just… I don't know infatuation and I couldn't believe someone like him could find me interesting" Bella shrugged embarrassed. "I know it's taken a long time to realise it is Jake I want, but it is. I loved him enough to walk away when I thought he needed me to, so he could be with his imprint"

"Bella do you really think Jake will be happy if you became a vampire to save him or anyone else?"

"I won't. I told you Sam and I meant it I don't want to be a vampire anymore, but I don't want to live if it isn't with Jake either. I'll happily give my life to keep him, you all, Charlie and the tribe safe. It is the best thing all round you have to see that? This way the Volturi won't hurt any of you or the Cullens. This is entirely my fault I just bring trouble and danger everywhere I go. Maybe it would be better if I just left… or went to Italy…"

"NO!" Everyone shouted at her, all at once, including Seth who actually barked at her.

"Bella you are pack. You will have our protection, and I am sure the Cullens will also protect you regardless of whether you stay with the mind reading leech. After all it is their fault you have such an ultimatum over your head." Sam spoke with a determined and firm voice.

"Bella, we never wanted you to be a vamp- even when you wanted to be one. Do you really think we are going to let it happen now we know you don't want to me?" Embry spoke in his quiet but strong voice of reason.

"Bella it is the Cullens' fault not yours. Whether they decide to help protect you or not, we won't let you sacrifice your life by being turned or dying because of some stupid promise. Lord knows what they were thinking agreeing to it in the first place!" Billy scoffed.

"Edward agreed to get us out alive. He didn't want to turn me I don't think he even wants to do it now. He thinks they won't come looking for me for a long time and then he can hide…" Bella mumbled quietly in defence of the boy she had thought up until not long ago, she loved with her whole heart and with her life, and whom she was supposed to marry in a matter of days.

"Bella, do you mean what you said about Jake? Is he who you want to be with? Are you sure? Or when you see Edward will it change?" Sam asked, his face emotionless, showing no trance of what he thought or how he felt.

"Sam, it doesn't matter. She is human, we protect humans, whether she is pack or not" Leah chastised her former lover and her Alpha.

"Leah is right, Sam. Regardless of where or to whom Bella's heart and future belongs too, she is human. She stated clearly she doesn't want to be turned at present nor does she want to die so we protect her. If she changes her mind about becoming… about turning… well-"

"I won't Billy. Please you have to believe me. I don't want that anymore. But I can't have the pack risk their lives for me yet again. The Volturi are the most powerful and gifted vampires that is why they are the leaders. We wouldn't survive…"

"Bella we shall deal with that when the time comes, as of this moment you are under the Pack and the tribe's protection, we have other more pressing matters, not that your life isn't a pressing matter but I think we have time on our side for the time being. We need to decide what we are going to do about the Cullens who are still waiting on the treaty line for you Bella".

Bella nodded, and smiled as Sam and Embry helped her off the ground, and stood on either side of her like a pair of bookends, supporting her with an arm around her waist, and another around her shoulders. She smiled internally at the idea, it seemed to be the pattern of the day, being sandwiched between two wolf bookends, whether it had been Sam, Seth, Leah or Embry, she always had two of them close by, and it made her feel safe and secure while Jacob wasn't around. It made her feel safer, warmer and happier than she had been in weeks. The rez was home and the wolves were family, she realised they always had been from the first day she was welcomed into Emily's as the "vampire girl", she had just been to blind and stupid to see what had always been right in front of her. She had been looking for the family she had craved all her life, but she had found it here in Forks, with Charlie, Billy and Jake even before she had found out about the pack, and the wolves, if only the magic and supernatural world hadn't existed this would have been the family she would have had, from the start.


End file.
